The Voices in Frank's Head

Hayden Panettiere told a British publication that she thinks it's, "it’s great kissing your friends." This, by the way, includes her female friends. Okay - sometimes it's really too hard for me to not comment on something. In fact, this is one of those times when there are so many comments that I could make, I'm almost not certain which one I should make first. Rather than go into all of the perverted comments that I could make, I'll just say that I hope Hayden comes back to the D some time soon. In the meantime, I'll just keep watching this video over and over as I think about her kissing another woman.

I've been emailing back and forth with one of my ex-girlfriends, Judy, about various things. I mentioned how frustrating it is to meet a woman who is: Reasonably attractive; Intelligent; Comfortable in a wide-range of social situations - from an evening in a dive bar to crashing a party at the British Consulate . I mentioned to her that it's gotten bad enough that I've occasionally pondered the idea of a mail order bride. Judy, of course, talked me out of it - even if there are 18-year Ukrainian blondes available who like this . (By talking me out of it, I mean she bluntly said, "Put that credit card down!") Anyway, after all of this, I was at the post office the other day to mail out an entry for a film festival. When I got there, there was this young woman at the counter ahead of me. She was a brunette in her mid- to late-20s; skinny with (dare I say it) really big boobs. In short, she looked better than anything I could reasonably get from a web site. Plus,

I was on my way to a doctor's appointment yesterday afternoon. After what seemed like endless arguing with my insurance company, I'm finally getting a hearing aid to compensate for damage in my left ear after my auto accident back in Christmas 2006 . Anyway, I was stopped at a red light on Evergreen when a Dearborn Heights police car approached with its lights and sirens going. No big deal, I thought, at first. But then some idiot in a white Ford Escort darted out into traffic, right in front of the speeding police car. The cop had no real choice but to come into my lane in order to avoid a crash. For a split second, I thought for sure he was going to hit me head on. Luckily, however, he managed to swerve again in order to miss my car by a couple of inches. With all of this in mind, I would just like to say to the unknown driver of that white Ford Escort, I you see something that looks like this: ...you're supposed to stop moving until the police pass you. Ditto for f

It's official. The Detroit Red Wings are Stanley Cup Champions once again. Congrats to everyone who made this happen!

I realized this afternoon that I've racked up enough frequent flyer miles for an off-peak round trip ticket. I'm debating between whether I should go to Los Angeles ... or Las Vegas . I'm not sure which one. I haven't been LA in awhile and I haven't been to Vegas ever. If you have an opinion, please feel free to leave a comment.

I have to ask: what does it mean when people hear that Kevin Smith's latest film is about making a porno - and people immediately think of me? (See Liza's comment in my Bulldozer Undresses Woman post.) I could be rather egotistical about this and say that my work is on par with Kevin Smith's. Therefore, it's only natural for people to think of me when it comes to anything he does. But no. In truth, it has much more to do with the fact that Kevin Smith's next project is entitled Zack and Miri Make a Porno . The film is about making a porn flick. And because my friends know me well, they thought of me and my blog. (Teaser for the film is below.) Move over Gone With the Wind , there's a new classic in town.

I had a lot planned for this weekend. I really did. I was going to the Red Bull Air Races that were happening over the Detroit River yesterday and today. I've had a fascination with airplanes for as long as I can remember and love the idea of the air races coming to Detroit. I also wanted to stop by The Henry Ford for the opening of their new exhibit on chocolate . I mean, just imagine it: an entire exhibit dedicated to the art and history of chocolate at one of America's premiere museums. What's not to love about that? Plus, it's so close to my house. I could almost walk there. I remember thinking: if only I could combine those two things and have airplanes fly through the skies of Detroit that are actually made out of chocolate. But then I heard from my Mom. One of my uncles has been battling cancer for several months now. He has taken a turn for the worse. A lot of people in my family were told that if we wanted to see him again alive, it would have to be t