The Voices in Frank's Head

Whitney Port's Falling Bikini Photos surfaced on the internet earlier this week of  Whitney Port's  bikini top suddenly falling off while she was in Miami. She managed to cover herself up (mostly) with her hands, revealing only a little bit of her nipples.  Of course, there just happened to be a photographer nearby when this happened - and Whitney Port just happened to be facing the camera, having covered herself up in the nick of time. Additional photos of the event, by the way, are available here  on Egotastic.com. The trend of bikini a female celebrity's bikini suddenly falling off - and a photographer happening to snap images of it - is something that I wrote about a little over a year ago when Heidi Montag  had a bikini incident that seemed a bit too much like a publicity stunt. (Earlier post available here .) Vanessa Hudgens Covers Up Of course, Whitney Port isn't the only female celebrity to have a bikini top mysteriously fall off in ...

Heidi Montag Stimulates Detroit The Detroit Free Press  is reporting that eight hospitals in southeastern Michigan are expected to hire 14,000 people between them over the coming months. This is expected to include everyone from doctors and nurses to chaplains, medical billing coders, and information technology specialists. Evidentially, Heidi Montag  is coming to Detroit for another round of plastic surgery.

Traffic on my blog has more than doubled over the past month. A lot of folks have discovered my site after my posts about Rachel Nichols appearing on Criminal Minds  as well as in this one really weird dream that I had . Others continue to discover my blog after my posts about Heidi Montag  and fake boobs . Regardless of how you find my blog, I'm glad that you did. If you are one of my new readers, I would like to welcome you to my site. I invite you to follow my blog with Google Friend Connect by clicking the "follow" button in the right hand column. You'll be able to keep up with all of my blog posts and assorted rantings. Besides, my fellow Detroiter, Uncle Kracker , thinks that it would be really cool if you followed my blog. He even wrote a song about it. Uncle Kracker has never steered you wrong, has he?

Is it possible for a show to jump the proverbial shark, even before they start filming it? If so, Bridalplasty is the one to have done it . This is the show that demonstrates precisely how low American culture truly has sunk; how deep we are into the primordial abyss. Competing For Boob Job? Bridalplasty , for the happily ignorant, is a reality television from E! that crosses extreme plastic surgery with a wedding competition. Brides-to-be will compete on the show in a series of wedding themed challenges in order to win a wish list of cosmetic procedures. Brides will be voted off the show, at least in the initial rounds, by their fellow brides/ contestants. The last bride standing wins all of the cosmetic procedures that she wants. She then unveils the "new her" at her wedding. If one listens closely, one can actually hear Simone de Beauvoir spinning in her grave. She has lost her battle. The Heidi Montags  of the world have won. I've already said that I'm ...

I've been thinking about breast augmentation surgery a lot lately. It was one of those weird moments stemming from a recent weekend encounter where - okay, I'll just say it - I was reminded that it's possible to tell which part of a woman's breast is real and exactly where her implant starts, if she has one. Heidi Montag Has Cold Boobs The result can be, well, odd at best. Sometimes, however, it can be downright disturbing. Oh, and did I mention that the temperature of a woman's breast varies if she has an implant? The part of it that is an implant is colder than the natural part. This is also kind of disturbing. Very, very disturbing. It's enough to make me feel sorry for any guy who ends up in the bedroom with Heidi Montag . (I mean, not sorry by a lot. Just a little.) All of this makes be believe that an old-fashioned padded bra is a lot better than a boob job. They're both nice to look at. However, a Wonderbra or the new BioFit from Victoria...

Heidi Montag  hasn't been in the news in weeks. Heidi Montag Loses It Strangely enough, she managed to lose her bikini top while swimming in the Pacific Ocean this morning. Luckily, there just happened to be a photographer from the Pacific Coast News nearby to snap a photograph of an essentially topless Heidi Montag and make sure that it ended up on the internet. We are so lucky that he just happened to be there when Heidi Montag's bikini top "fell off". I wonder what kind of an accident Heidi Montag will have next. I guess we'll have to wait until early October to find out. In the meantime, more (almost) topless photos of Heidi Montag are available here .

I love the British. Americans created 3-D technology for movies. Brits put it to use for what is clearly its highest purpose - billboards for the Wonderbra. Sabraine Banado Goes 3-D Sabraine Banado  is the Brazilian model who graces this 20 foot wide billboard near the Waterloo station in London. One needs special glasses to experience "the full effect" of this advert. However, even a blind man can see its intended purpose. I want to thank all the folks at Wonderbra for taking Sabraine Banado and wonders of 3-D technology to a whole new level. I also want to express my amazement at the skill of British drivers. I'm amazed that there haven't been more traffic accidents in London today. Of course, I should also express my appreciation for the fact that they went with Sabraine Banado for this one and not Heidi Montag . With her fake boobs, they would've needed to rent a second billboard.

Karissa Shannon Heidi Montag , who is likely famous for having more plastic surgery than anyone else in Hollywood, has made a sex tape with Playboy model, and Ann Arbor, Michigan native,  Karissa Shannon . Personally, I'm disappointed that Karissa Shannon made this tape with Heidi Montag and not with her twin sister, Kristina Shannon . I mean, let's face it - real twins are always hotter than fake boobs.

Heidi Montag Isn't the Same Heidi Montag   filed for divorce from her husband of just over a year, Spencer Pratt , yesterday. The interesting thing about this that, because of all the plastic surgery Heidi Montag has had in recent months, Spencer Pratt very well may be the first man in the world who can stand in divorce court, say that his wife isn't the woman that he married, and actually be taken seriously by the judge.

I blogged earlier today about Heidi Montag and her apparent desire to have breasts large enough to flash the guys on board the International Space Station. It turns out that Heidi Montag has set off a backlash of sorts in Hollywood. Several people in the business have started to decry the overuse of cosmetic surgery. Heidi Montag is the moment where plastic surgery jumped the proverbial shark in Hollywood. (You can read more about this over on HollywoodLife.com .) All I have to say is, it's about time.

Heidi Montag  has already scheduled another round of cosmetic surgery. According to Life & Style magazine, she wants her breasts to be even larger. For the benefit of anyone who doesn't already know this, Heidi Montag already has DD-sized breasts. This means that Heidi Montag's breasts can already be seen from outer space, at least on your more sophisticated satellite photographs. Presumably, making them even larger will make them even more visible. All of which makes me wonder: Does Heidi Montag have some serious self-image problems? Or is she simply trying to flash the guys on board the International Space Station? I personally think she's trying to show some love to the space station. However, there is always the chance that I'm wrong.