Thursday, January 26, 2012

The Falling Bikini Top. Hollywood's Latest Publicity Stunt

Whitney Port's Falling Bikini
Photos surfaced on the internet earlier this week of Whitney Port's bikini top suddenly falling off while she was in Miami. She managed to cover herself up (mostly) with her hands, revealing only a little bit of her nipples. 

Of course, there just happened to be a photographer nearby when this happened - and Whitney Port just happened to be facing the camera, having covered herself up in the nick of time. Additional photos of the event, by the way, are available here on

The trend of bikini a female celebrity's bikini suddenly falling off - and a photographer happening to snap images of it - is something that I wrote about a little over a year ago when Heidi Montag had a bikini incident that seemed a bit too much like a publicity stunt. (Earlier post available here.)

Vanessa Hudgens Covers Up
Of course, Whitney Port isn't the only female celebrity to have a bikini top mysteriously fall off in recent days. Vanessa Hudgens, for example, also had a bikini top fall of while she was in Hawaii. Again, there just happened to be a photographer nearby when this "accident" happened and she just happened to be facing towards the camera.

The photos of Vanessa Hudgens and her "wardrobe malfunction" are available over on the Daily Mail here.

I've spent a certain amount of time at the beach and around swimming pools. I have to say that - unfortunately for the men of this world - it's fairly rare for a woman's bikini top to fall suddenly fall off. Usually, if it's even a little loose, she will notice it and adjust it to prevent it from slipping. As a result, it's fairly rare for a bikini top to fall off.

Think for a moment about the series of rare events that were involved in this:

  1. The female celebrity (be it Vanessa Hudgens, Heidi Montag, Whitney Port, or whoever) has to not notice that her bikini top is falling off until it's too late;
  2. Then she has to have the presence of mind to cover herself up - just enough to avoid a truly scandalous photo - even though she apparently didn't notice the bikini top falling off earlier;
  3. Then there just happens to to be a photographer with a professional grade camera nearby to capture the image;
  4. And then the female celebrity just happens to facing towards the camera at just the right moment to allow the photographer who just happened to be there to capture an image of the bikini top that just happened to fall off.
There's a lot of coincidences in there.

Heidi Montage Losses It
Also, in each of examples, the incident just happened to be somewhere outside of New York or Los Angeles where paparazzi photographers aren't as common. That's important because the fewer of them there are, the easier it is to control them - assuming, of course, that all of this is a staged event.

Oh, who am I kidding?

Of course, it's a staged publicity stunt.

And I can't even say that I blame these women for it. Women have been using their sex appeal to get what they want (in this case, more publicity) since the beginning of time. Hollywood has been using an assortment of publicity stunts like this, again, since it's earliest days. The accidental bikini top falling off stunt is simply the latest incarnation of this trend.

As far as publicity stunts go, I suppose I should give them credit for coming up with somewhat original one - even though Heidi Montag pioneered it and two different female celebrities did it within a week of one another. (By Hollywood standards, this counts as "original.")

And I will glad accept any excuse to see mostly naked photos of Vanessa Hudgens, Whitney Port, or almost any other female celebrity.

More than anything, I simply wonder who will be the next female celebrity to try this one. Personally, I'm hoping it will be Jessica Alba or Katherine Heigl. However, I fear that it might end up being Britney Spears.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Google Chrome Has Become Annoying As Hell

Who was the idiot who allowed their 8 year old sister to design the latest update to Google Chrome?

This new one is batty. The extensions that I had installed have disappeared. The settings are all changed. McAfee's Site Advisor keeps returning, no matter how many times that I uninstall it.

And the thing doesn't have any actual improvements to it. It's just a contraption to keep annoying me.

I think it's time to switch back to Internet Explorer.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

BP Brings the Bikini Parade

Panama City Beach, Florida is preparing to beat the existing world record for the largest bikini parade during Spring Break 2012, with a little help from BP, according to the Panama City Beach Spring Break website, The current world record was set at Surfers Paradise Beach of Gold Coast, Australia in October 2011, where 357 women paraded in an attempt which beat the former record of 331 women in the Cayman Islands.

Dan Rowe of the Panama City Beach Tourist Development Council hopes to beat the current record during Spring Break 2012. “It’s a way for the students to come down and participate in a fun activity,” according to Rowe. “It is good clean fun.”

The funding for the record attempt comes from a $250,000 portion of a $7 million BP marketing budget. This funding is in addition to the roughly $350,000 that has already been allocated for the Panama City Beach Spring Break Marketing Campaign.

The fact that BP is funding this, as part of their on-going effort to rebuild the tourism industry that was devastated by the BP oil spill, makes me smile. I will no doubt think about a parade of women in bikinis when I next fill up my tank at my local BP station.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Mackinaw Bridge Looks Awesome Today

Web Cam Image of the Mackinaw Bridge

A photo has hit the internet, showing a view of the Mackinaw Bridge from a web cam.

That bridge is awesome to look at right now. I love how it's covered it in snow, how there's fog over the straights, and how the soft light illuminates everything just so. However, at the same time, I'm rather glad that I don't have to drive across it today.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Kristen Bell Re-Runs

Kristen Bell Over and Over
I have seen Kristen Bell's Neutrogena commercial a dozen times in the past 24 hours.

Please don't get me wrong. I adore Kristen Bell. I also like Neutrogena and understand the value of repetition when it comes to advertising. However, there's a point where hearing the same thing simply becomes annoying.

To the folks at Neutrogena, if you're going to put the Kristen Bell commercial in such heavy rotation, please do television audiences across America a favor and create more than one version of it.

Update @ 8:35 p.m. - I just saw that commercial for a 13th time.

Monday, January 09, 2012

65 Chapters

The novel version of The Roswell Chronicles has 65 chapters currently. They're short chapters, but there are 65 of them.

Why am I tempted to add 4 more?

Oh, yeah - that's right - because I'm a pervert.

Saturday, January 07, 2012

"Pan Am" Returns - And Asks If You Want to Know a Secret

Pan Am returns to ABC tomorrow night - and I am really looking forward to it. This show has really found its footing. When I first said that the show was an Emmy contender, people thought I was nuts. They said it would be lucky to avoid cancellation.

But now Pan Am is back for a full season and an Emmy nomination doesn't seem all that far fetched anymore. My prediction is that it will almost certainly get nominations for art direction and costume design. Writing and acting nominations are a distinct possibility as well in my opinion.

If you haven't already checked out Pan Am, I highly recommend it. In the meantime, I give you a short video clip featuring "Do You Want to Know a Secret?" by Nikki Jean.

Thursday, January 05, 2012

Obamacare Woman Destroys America

The image above of the ObamaCare woman has been circulating across the interwebs. Quite frankly, I am mad as hell right now.

This woman is destroying America. Why couldn't she just get a second job at a local strip club if she really needed money for this so-called "operation"?

That, after all, is what a good, honest, hard-working American would do.

Gold is the New Dot-Com

History has a funny way of repeating itself. In the mid- to late-1990s, was we saw the Dot-com Bubble with internet companies with stock valuations that simply could not be justified by their fundamentals. I believe that we are seeing the same thing today with gold prices.

From 1973 - 2005, gold traded in the $200 - $300 price range on a fairly consistent basis. In 2005, it began its surge upwards, with the real momentum beginning in 2009.

Gold is currently trading at more than $1,600 per ounce, which is roughly 4.5 times its historic norms. Things are far from ideal in our economy or political sphere. However, there is simply no economic rationale for gold any higher than $700 - and even $700 per ounce is pushing it, in my opinion.

I'm not ready to start shorting gold yet. I believe it will likely stay in the $1,600 - $1,700 price range for the next few months as various problems work themselves out, most notably Europe's debt crisis. However, I believe that gold is headed for a major correction in months ahead.

And when one looks at far this has to drop, I believe it's going to be a painful drop for a lot of people.

It's 1999 all over again. Gold is the new dot com.

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

I Don't Believe Myself Sometimes

There are moments where things come out of my mind that I simply do not believe. This afternoon was the latest example.

A female friend of mine posted on Facebook that was now in her fourth day of dealing with laryngitis. A discuss thus ensued among some of the women about what it must be like for her to communicate with her husband and how he must be responding to this.

I then chimed in to say:
Think of this as a learning exercise. Instead of using your voice to communicate with your husband, use your boobs instead. Once you've mastered this technique, I'm sure you'll find that he listens to you much more.
P.S. Sandwiches often work as well.
It shocks me how utterly obnoxious I can be at times. Granted, everything is my comment is 100% true, but I can still be utterly obnoxious at times.

Tuesday, January 03, 2012

Memo to Congressman Ron Paul

Memo to Congressman Ron Paul: If you are going to claim that you support the Constitution then you cannot have military personnel in uniform give political speeches.

"Roswell Chronicles" Goes Back to the Slush Pile

In other news, I sent the novel version of The Roswell Chronicles out to another prospective publisher this afternoon. More agents and publishers will follow.

Thankfully, I am going to be so busy for the next couple of months that I won't have time to worry about rejection letters.

Hope Dworaczyk Makes Bora Bora Look Even Better

Playboy model Hope Dworaczyk posted a photo of herself on vacation in Bora Bora, Tahiti. As attractive as Bora Bora normally looks, she makes it look even better.

Hope Dworaczyk's photo Bora Bora you take my breath away.
Hope Dworaczyk on WhoSay

Quite frankly, if I worked for Tahiti Tourisme, I'd hand Hope Dworaczyk a promotional contract before she gets a chance to leave the island. She could do a lot to promote tourism there.

I would also re-shoot the photo of Hope Dworaczyk above and use it in all of their promotional materials for Bora Bora. I wouldn't make any big changes to it, just a few tweaks like bringing in reflectors to knock down some of the shadows on her back and smooth out her bikini bottom.