The Voices in Frank's Head

This photo was in an email solicitation that I received this afternoon. I don't normally read such things. This time, I did. I have absolutely no idea what the company was trying to sell me. But still - the photo .

Valentine's Day is this Friday. As I surf the internet, one things that I keep noticing pretty much everywhere is guides for men who are buying lingerie as a gift this holiday. In fact, a quick search of Google tells me that there are currently more than 6.2 million lingerie gift buying guides available for men on-line. All of them promise to walk the fine line between helping a guy find something that he will like to see on the woman in his life yet still be something that she will want to wear. I haven't reviewed every single one of them, although it has been fun to make my way through as many of them as possible. Regardless, I suspect that everyone of those 6.2 million lingerie gift buy guides gets it wrong in one way or another. This, of course, is based purely on the feedback that I've overheard from significant others of friends. The good news is that as long as the guy gets to see the recipient wearing the gift at least once, it's still worth it.

A large number of Americans will soon be without a job or unemployment benefits now that Congress has refused to extend authorization for long-term unemployment benefits. Congressional Republicans claim that unemployment compensation hurts job growth. They say it makes people lazy and not want to work. At the same time, though, they also want to give billions and billions in tax dollar subsidies to oil companies, multi-national agribusinesses, and every other large corporation around. I suppose the solution, therefore, is for all of the unemployed people to form their own corporation. At which point in time, the GOP will then be willing to dump 10 times the cash on them as they would've gotten in unemployment benefits. They can call this new corporation the God Bless America Envelope Company. The first order of business for GBAEC will be to hire a handful of people to make envelopes or, more likely, contract that part out to someone in a Third World country. The company can ...

The folks at Web MD published a quiz recently to highlight "Bedroom Mistakes Women Make." Surprisingly, not bringing a sandwich was not one of the ones they talked about.

The Five Year Engagement , starring Jason Segel  and Emily Blunt , opens in theaters everywhere this Friday. I look forward to it. Hopefully, they will explain the important questions that this film raises, like, why did this couple rush their engagement?

Jennifer Love Hewitt at the Cast Party Jennifer Love Hewitt's  breasts will be appearing in a new television show on the Lifetime network called The Client List . Well, actually, I guess all of Jennifer Love Hewitt will be on this show. It's not just her breasts. But, let's face it, most people aren't going to stare at anything else.

Michela Roth - Fired for Being Too Sexy to Teach American-born model and teacher  Michela Roth , age 38, was fired recently from her job teaching nursery school in Italy . Parents were apparently upset about some of the lingerie photos that she took as a model, which evidently established her as being unfit to teach. Personally, I think the parents and Michela Roth's school overreacted in this situation. None of the photographs were around any of the children. The children were never around any of the modelling sessions nor otherwise exposed to it. Plus, these are nursery school  children. They haven't figured out how to work Google yet. It's not like they are going to find these photos of Michela Roth and develop some "hot for teacher" fetish. In the end, the only person that I think should be fired was the photographer who took the pictures such as the one above. Harsh direct lighting on a 38 year old model? What was that person thinking?

I found this video on-line and I love it. Will the REAL Mitt Romney Please Stand-Up? (featuring Eminem) is one of the best pieces of video editing I've seen in awhile. I love it.

Dear Republicans, Please follow Karl Rove's  example and continue to complain about the auto bailout. Please do everything in your power to link President Barack Obama to it, even though former President George W. Bush signed off on billions of dollars in loans to the auto industry as well. The fact of the matter is that the states that benefited from this the most (Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania, etc.) are all swing states. When Republican complain about this, it reminds voters in those states that President Obama and the Democrats saved millions of American jobs that the GOP was prepared to watch disappear. It does wonders for moving those states into the Blue column for this November. Thank you, The Dems

Alabama State Sen. Shadrack McGill recently tried to block a pay raise for teachers by arguing that improving pay for school teachers is contrary to the Holy Bible. No, I'm not kidding. Sen. McGill really and truly did do such a thing . If I didn't know better, I would swear that the Democrats in Alabama put Sen. McGill up to this, just to make all Republicans across the nation look bad. Unfortunately, I know all too well that the Democrats don't have their act together well enough to organize such a plot.

The image above of the ObamaCare woman has been circulating across the interwebs. Quite frankly, I am mad as hell right now. This woman is destroying America. Why couldn't she just get a second job at a local strip club if she really needed money for this so-called "operation"? That, after all, is what a good, honest, hard-working American would do.

There are moments where things come out of my mind that I simply do not believe. This afternoon was the latest example. A female friend of mine posted on Facebook that was now in her fourth day of dealing with laryngitis. A discuss thus ensued among some of the women about what it must be like for her to communicate with her husband and how he must be responding to this. I then chimed in to say: Think of this as a learning exercise. Instead of using your voice to communicate with your husband, use your boobs instead. Once you've mastered this technique, I'm sure you'll find that he listens to you much more. P.S. Sandwiches often work as well. It shocks me how utterly obnoxious I can be at times. Granted, everything is my comment is 100% true, but I can still be utterly obnoxious at times.

When Santa Claus brings you coal, you may as well have a bar-barque. This, my friends, is the up-side to being on Santa's "Naughty List" every year.

Only 11 more days until Speaker John Boehner causes a tax hike for every working American. With an 11% approval rating, how will he be able to afford his spray on tan once he's voted out of office?

It's a little known fact that every time you hear a bell ring, it means that another 19 year old single mom has learned to pole dance. Knowledge, my friends, is power.

Lindsay Lohan - 40+ Lindsay Lohan's photo shoot with Playboy has found its way on-line . She was supposedly trying to recreate Marilyn Monroe's last known photo shoot. Someone told her that this would revive her career. Unfortunately, no one told her to look in the mirror. Looking at this woman in the Playboy photos, I can't believe that she's only 25 years old. If I didn't know better, I would swear that Lindsay Lohan was in her 40s. The calender says Lindsay Lohan is only 25 years old, but the Playboy photos say she is at least 40.

I very well may be the only person in Detroit who feels this way, but I'm happy that Nickelback is going to play the halftime show on Thursday. The way I figure it, no matter what happens on Thanksgiving, we're pretty much guaranteed that the Detroit Lions won't have the worst performance of the day.

Comedy Central announced yesterday that will extend cable television's longest-running animated series, South Park . The deal for three additional seasons ensures the top-rated Emmy® and Peabody Award-winning series will remain in original episodes through 2016 and a milestone 20th season. Trey Parker and Matt Stone will continue to write, direct, and edit every episode of South Park , as they have since the premiere of this series in 1997. I'm happy to see South Park  continue. Of course, I also can't help but wonder if Comedy Central is financing this entire project by cashing in on Kenny's life insurance policies.

Donald Trump , the man who once promised to bring us shocking new details about President Barack Obama's  birth certificate, has a special on the Discovery Channel later this evening. In it, he will discuss how much America is worth - from our infrastructure to our real estate. This looks interesting, but it would still have a lot more credibility if it wasn't hosted by Donald Trump. Or, as I prefer to think of him, America's Birther-in-Chief.

Better Looking Than A Power Tool An article published in Scientific American  recently suggests that men tend to view a woman dressed in a bikini in much the same way that they would view tools. Quite frankly, I find this conclusion hard to believe. Perhaps we should test this theory by having a group of women walk around town in bikinis, with each one carrying a power tool. This would be purely in the interest of science, of course.