Sunday, March 23, 2008

Undefendable Defense

In roughly 12 hours from now, Wayne County Prosecutor Kym L. Worthy will announce whether or not she intends to charge Detroit's Mayor Kwame M. Kilpatrick with a felony in connection with his less than honest testimony under oath and, if so, just what charges he will face. I previously posted on my other blog that I had done an informal survey of the attorneys that I know and they were evenly split as to whether or not Mayor Kilpatrick's misdeeds met the legal definitions of perjury.

I know that Mayor Kilpatrick's attorneys have to pursue a vigorous defense for their client. However, I was surprised to read in the Detroit Free Press recently that they would challenge the authenticity of the infamous text messages. Specifically, the paper reports that defense lawyers will challenge the Prosecutor to prove whose fingers where on keys when those racy messages were sent.

If there was only one or two messages in question then this might actually be a smart strategy. If nothing else, they could bring in that episode of Veronica Mars where Kristen Bell's character swipes a cell phone in order to prove that a text message could be faked. (Really, any excuse to see Kristen Bell works for me. But I digress.)

However, in the current situation, I have to believe that challenging the authenticity of those messages is quite possibly the stupidest defense that Mayor Kilpatrick's legal team could possibly mount.

I say this because neither Mayor Kilpatrick nor his former chief of staff Christine Beatty ever reported their cell phones stolen. While it is possible for someone to swipe a cell phone, use it to send a bogus message and then return it without being noticed, this becomes progressively less and less likely as the number of messages increases. Every time that someone would have tried to do this would present a new opportunity for them to be caught and eventually their luck would run out. With the sheer number of text messages in question, it seems unlikely that anyone would be able to take the Mayor's phone unnoticed that often.

There is also the issue of a response to a message sent. If I send a text message to one of my friends saying, "Hey, how about the bank we robbed last Tuesday," then I would almost certainly get a response back that says something to the effect of, "What are you talking about?" This, however, did not happen in the Mayor's case.

The fact that they had complete conversations would indicate that those message were sent by individuals with an intimate knowledge of all that happened, such as Mayor Kilpatrick and Ms. Beatty. In order for someone to fake both the original message and the reply, they would have to have both phones.

It's doubtful that anyone other than Mayor Kilpatrick and Ms. Beatty could obtain access to just one of those phones in and of itself often enough to send all of those messages. The idea of someone getting both phones simultaneously is doubly difficult to believe.

There is also the fact that, according to their initial report, the Detroit Free Press cross-referenced various events mentioned in those text messages with Mayor Kilpatrick's public schedule. They fact that they match up would mean that whoever sent those messages was intimately and personally familiar with the Mayor's schedule.

It was doubly difficult to believe that anyone but Mayor Kilpatrick and Ms. Beatty could have sent those message even without confirmation from his schedule. Adding that into the mix simply takes this argument into the realm of science-fiction.

Last, but not least, there is also the fact that if Mayor Kilpatrick and Ms. Beatty hadn't lied under oath about their relationship then I have to ask: what was it that Mayor Kilpatrick apologized for on television last month?

When one adds all of this up, the only conclusion that I can come to is that questioning the authenticity of those text messages is - in my opinion - a really, really foolish thing to do. It simply makes the Mayor seem desperate and his legal team inadequate.

Although, as a side note, I do have to recognize my counterpart at Detroit's leading gossip blog, D-Tales. She predicted back in January when this story first broke that this would be a part of the Mayor's defense strategy. I guess that woman does know a few things.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Poetry Nightstand

I've always known that books are cool. (Granted, the fact that I published a novel may have something to do with my opinion.) However, they suddenly seem even cooler.

I found this nightstand on-line that looks like it's made out of books. In fact, it has a series of four drawers for the discreet storage of whatever you might want to keep in close proximity to one's bed.

Books are so darn cool.

Monday, March 17, 2008

The Kam Carman Experiment

One of my fellow bloggers is reportedly getting hundreds of hits on her blog every day because of her coverage of Kam Carman's infidelities. It even reached the point where Ms. Carman made some thinly veiled remarks about this blog on the radio.

All of this makes me wonder what would happen if I started posting rumors that I've heard about Kam Carman.

Or better yet, what would happen if I started posting about that torrid affair that I had with Britney Spears a few years back.

On second thought, forget about it. I don't want web traffic that badly.

Week In Review

It's been almost two weeks since I've had a meaningful post over here. Life has been a little on the hectic side.

At work, I've spent most of the past two weeks trying to collect from various clients for work that I've already done. For that irony upon irony factor, one of the firms that I'm trying to collect from is a collection agency that owes me $400 and is almost three months late in paying.

(I'll pause of a moment so everyone can ponder the irony of calling a collection agency every couple of days, looking for the payment that they have been promising.)

Anyway, I really needed to blow off some steam. Last Wednesday, I went to one of the bars near me and managed to rack up a $92.50 bar tab. That's rather impressive since the bars in my neighborhood tend to be on the cheap side.

On Thursday morning, I had some unexpected cash fall into my lap. It wasn't anything from my clients, it was just one of the those "pennies from heaven" things that almost paid off the bar tab that I racked up the night before.

In fact, when I looked at my receipt, I realized that this unexpected cash paid for everything expect for the shots of Patron Silver that I vaguely recall buying for this woman with an Albanian flag tattoo. (More on this below.)

I blew off the Detroit Synergy meeting on Thursday evening to go see Gaelic Storm at the Royal Oak Music Theatre. I actually felt a little bad about blowing off the meeting since I'm on their Steering Team. However, I figure after passing up on tickets to the Stanley Cup playoffs last year, I was due.

Besides, I managed to get close enough to Gaelic Storm to smell the whiskey and Guinness on them. Granted, with a band like Gaelic Storm, that really isn't saying a lot, but it was still an amazing concert. The music was awesome. Some of the best stuff I've heard in a long time.

And the guys at Gaelic Storm manage to weave in enough comedy into their act that I was doubled over with laughter on more than one occasion.

I can't wait until they come through town again.

Not much happened on Friday, except for watching television and generally recovering from the past two days. (My liver was begging for mercy.)

I went out to the bars of Corktown with Nicole on Saturday evening. I told her the story of my exploits the previous Wednesday. We came to the conclusion that the reason why things worked out the way they did was because:
  • I have good bar karma from buying shots for various people who were having bad days, therefore God paid most of my bar tab; and
  • God doesn't like Patron, therefore He didn't pay that portion of my bar tab.
The phrase "God doesn't like Patron" kept echoing in my head for the rest of the evening. I'm tempted, in fact, to send Pope Benedict XVI a note to let him know about this one.

I won't give into this temptation, though. For some reason, this Pope doesn't seem like the kind of guy who would immediately recognize the clear connection between tequila and theology.

I could be wrong, but I don't think I am.

I had to work on Sunday. This meant that I missed the entire St. Patrick's Day Parade in Corktown. Luckily, one of my favorite bloggers had the event covered.

Anyway, for the better or worse, this has been my life for the past few days.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Happy Pi Day

Today is March 14 (or 3.14), which makes it Pi Day 2008.

I would lose some major geek cred if I didn't post and wish everyone a Happy Pi Day!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

One More Week

Spring officially returns to Detroit (and everyone else in the northern hemisphere) exactly one week from today.

All I can say is, thank God!

I'm so glad to see winter leaves us.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Did I Die?

I must have died because I think I'm in heaven at the moment.

First, there's the fact that the Hamtramck Blowout starts tonight. Yes, that's right. The world's largest music festival (4 days + 20 venues) returns for its eleventh installment.

And it all starts in a matter of hours.

Not to be outdone by that, I was leafing through the Metro Times the other day and discovered that Gaelic Storm is performing next Thursday at the Royal Oak Music Theatre. In and of itself that's cool because they are a really cool band that I've always wanted to catch in a live performance.

Plus, as if that wasn't cool enough, Academy Award winners Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova will be there on May 10. If you've read any of my blog posts about the movie Once, you will no doubt know that I practically tripped over myself to buy tickets to this one.