Friday, January 17, 2014

Solving the problems of unemployment benefits

A large number of Americans will soon be without a job or unemployment benefits now that Congress has refused to extend authorization for long-term unemployment benefits.

Congressional Republicans claim that unemployment compensation hurts job growth. They say it makes people lazy and not want to work. At the same time, though, they also want to give billions and billions in tax dollar subsidies to oil companies, multi-national agribusinesses, and every other large corporation around.

I suppose the solution, therefore, is for all of the unemployed people to form their own corporation. At which point in time, the GOP will then be willing to dump 10 times the cash on them as they would've gotten in unemployment benefits.

They can call this new corporation the God Bless America Envelope Company. The first order of business for GBAEC will be to hire a handful of people to make envelopes or, more likely, contract that part out to someone in a Third World country. The company can then use those envelopes to send oodles of cash to all of the unemployed people that Congressional Republicans didn't want to extend unemployment benefits to.

Problem solved. You're welcome, America.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

My Bucket List, Part 1

First, yes, I know it's been forever since I've updated this blog. I said it was possibly ending, but after a couple of years, I finally had something that I wanted to share. This simply seemed like the best vehicle for putting it out into the universe.

With the help of some friends on Facebook, I managed to create at least the first draft of my bucket list. I will invariably add a few things to this as the years go on. However, I figured it was time to at least start one.

Therefore, in no particular order, here are the items on my bucket list.
  • Drive Route 66 from beginning to end;
  • Visit Prague;
  • Visit a random city and take a walk that only ends once I've taken a picture of every letter of the alphabet;
  • Attend the Pierogi Festival in Whitting, Indiana;
  • Visit the American Gothic House in Eldon, Iowa. This, by the way, is the house that Grant Wood posed his models in front of in his famous painting, American Gothic.
  • Go to Chicago and re-enact Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
  • Visit the Dockery Plantation in Cleveland, Mississippi, which is where legend says Robert Johnson sold his soul to become a Blues man;
  • Hike a volcano;
  • Go to Burning Man;
  • Buy a Cadillac and put a Dead Head sticker on the back of it;
  • Drive the 101; and
  • Stand on a corner in Winslow, Arizona.
I'm sure I'll add a few more to this list. For now, though, this is the start of my bucket list.