The Voices in Frank's Head

Dear Editors of the  Detroit Free Press : Rima Fakih - Miss USA press photo Earlier today, you published a post on your website that invited visitors to vote as to which famous woman had the best cleavage. This, of course, is yet another example of  click bait . I know that the internet age has made it hard to do professional journalism in the 21st century. Many outstanding newspapers have shut down and countless others are struggling simply to get by. The fact that we are both working in an economically challenge city like Detroit certainly does not make things easier for you. I get all of these things. I really do. However, I regret to inform you that rating cleavage is my gimmick, not yours. Please find a new one. Thank you, Frank Nemecek Subscriber and former Detroit Free Press  paperboy

According to local news reports, two kids were shot today in Detroit's Brightmoor neighborhood when an argument over how to make Kool-Aid turned violent. I swear, I'm not making this up. Two kids really and truly were shot today because of an argument over Kool-Aid. Two Shot in Detroit After Argument Over Kool-Aid: MyFoxDETROIT.com This, ladies and gentlemen, is why I write fiction. Reality is just too damn strange to be believed some times.

Former Governor of Michigan Jennifer Granholm  argued in The Huffington Post that Mitt Romney did nothing to save Detroit. What a coincidence! Neither did she.

Pecha Kucha Night in Detroit The tenth installment of Pecha Kucha Night will be on Friday, October 11 at the historic Doubletree Suites in downtown Detroit. This is an excellent opportunity to see what some of the best creative minds in Michigan have been up to. If you, or someone that you know, would like to present at PKN X then please submit a 300 word summary of your work along with some sample image of it to pkndetroit [at] gmail [dot] com no later than October 23.

Another Detroit Lions Fan The Detroit Lions beat the Dallas Cowboys earlier today, 34 - 30. They are now off to a 4 - 0 start for the season and are going into a three game home stand at Ford Field. As I write this, the Detroit Tigers are also in the lead. They are currently beating the New York Yankees 4 - 0 in the 7th inning of game two of the American League Division Series. If the Tigers manage to hold onto this lead and win today, I very well may have a sports orgasm. That's kind of like a regular orgasm - just not as messy. Update @ 6:49 p.m. I feel good. Real good .

It all started back in 2003, for me. On the set of "Checking In" At the time, I was working on a feature-length documentary entitled  Checking In: The Story of the Book-Cadillac Hotel , which focused on the historic Book-Cadillac Hotel in downtown Detroit. The Detroit Economic Growth Corporation, which was the quasi-governmental agency that was working on redeveloping the hotel, wouldn't talk to me on camera about the project so I turned to some of the historic preservation groups, who were all too happy to talk about the hotel. Back then, I had already decided that I was going to leave Detroit permanently as soon as this project was done. Regardless, during that time, I met Francis Grunow . He invited me to attend a meeting of this new group called Detroit Synergy . I was hooked after that first meeting. I met so many people who had such energy, enthusiasm, and determination to get things done. I got involved in organizing a pub crawl where I met a man who ...

Let me get this straight: for the past 1 1/2 years, Mayor Dave Bing has been talking to every media outlet on the planet about how much population Detroit has lost and how much empty space we have. He's told this story to everyone from The New York Times  to The Irish Times  to Time  magazine and a few hundred others. Now Stephen Colbert makes a joke about the same thing on his show and some folks are up in arms ? Please, people. Pull it together.

I've come to the conclusion that I really ought to stop paying attention to what is happening around town. The local newspapers can essentially be summed as "Things that Mayor Dave Bing and Governor Rick Snyder  are doing that piss me off today." I'm tired of being this pissed off all of the time. It reminds me of the old adage that ignorance is bliss. If I simply forget that we have a local or state government, maybe things will be better for me. Nothing will be better in my neighborhood or in the surrounding area, but I can't help that. They seem determined to fuck things up and give lots of my money to their friends in the process. Bing and Snyder. There's a reason why their initials are "B.S." Collectively, they are the B.S. Twins.

I was flipping through Entrepreneur  the other day and noticed an article about the dramatic profits that "breastaurants" are able to bring in . These, of course, are restaurants that are inspired by the Hooter's model of good food and attractive waitresses in skimpy outfits. Would You Like Fries With That? I'm convinced that if someone were to open a restaurant like this in downtown Detroit and give it a sports theme, it would be huge. The place would capitalize on all of the traffic from the Detroit Lions, Tigers, and Red Wings games as well as any activity at Cobo, Hart Plaza, or elsewhere nearby. It would be huge. In fact, I remember a couple of years ago when Hooter's was fighting with the City of Troy (approximately 8 miles north of Detroit proper) for the right to open one of their restaurants there. Troy did not want them. When I saw the back and forth debate, I remember screaming at my television for them to forget about Troy and open downtown. Oh...

Today is Bastille Day , which is a French holiday to commemorate the storming of the Bastille  in Paris on July 14, 1789 and the founding of the modern French Republic. Since I happen to live in a former French colony, I thought I would take a moment to commemorate Bastille Day with a short video to showcase some of the greatness that France has given us, particularly French maids. Some very well find this inappropriate. The only consolation I can offer such people is that this is hardly the least inappropriate thing I have ever done. Happy Bastille Day from French maids everywhere!

PBS recently declared that Detroit is the new Brooklyn . Several other commentators have espoused a similar view in recent months. All of them, I'm afraid, are wrong. Detroit, unlike Brooklyn, still has a Major League Baseball team.

Ten years ago, half of the entries in my address book were attorneys. Most of the people that I hung out with in college were pre-law and that fact was obvious in my post-college address book. Five years ago, the number of attorneys was surpassed by the number of reporters in my address book. For a number of reasons, I found myself doing an inordinate amount of public relations work for various non-profits in Detroit. I took a close look at my address book again today. It would appear that my life has taken another important turn. There are now more architects in my address book than reporters and more reporters than attorneys. I've been doing a lot of work with architects over the past couple of years. Organizing Pecha Kucha Night  in Detroit and working with various historic preservation groups has introduced me to a multitude of architects. Some of the those architects have commissioned me to do work for them, which has led me to meet even more architects. All of this makes...

I picked up two more mayorships on Foursquare today and it's not even 2 p.m. I'm now the Mayor of the New Center One Building  in Midtown as well as 3 Nicks Bar & Grill in Warrendale. The photo at right really doesn't relate to either of those things. It just demonstrates, once again, that a hot blonde goes with any blog post. And this is one of the many reasons why I love the internet.

ABC confirmed yesterday that Detroit 1-8-7 has been cancelled. I'm disappointed with this news. I continue to believe that if they made a drama from the beginning, instead of starting it as a "fake documentary"/comedy, then the show would've been a tremendous success. The writers and producers tried to retool it in a hurry, but they just weren't able to. I simply hope that this serves as a learning opportunity to every television executive as well as every writer in the business. Murder can make for a compelling drama. However, it makes for a terrible comedy.

I thought of a new slogan for the Great Lakes State; one that brings us into greater compliance with truth in advertising laws. Welcome to Michigan. Our government sucks so badly, you'll forget how terrible our economy is. For those who prefer to continue our proud tradition of Michigan's state motto always being in Latin, this works out to be, "Ita imperio malo, quam grauis obliviscar oeconomia nostrae." I'm confident that the Michigan Legislature will endorse this idea.

Well, the good news I suppose is that I had a better weekend in Detroit than Charlie Sheen did. No one booed or walked out on me, at least. I guess the Detroit audience was simply filled with warlocks or something. Maybe Charlie Sheen will have better luck in Chicago, which is his next stop. But I doubt it. Outraged Sheen fans walk out of his show in droves | detnews.com | The Detroit News

Rachel Maddow  talked about the budget situation in Michigan rather extensively. Her comments are well worth listening to, in my opinion, regardless of where you happen to live.

I've noticed several things over my years on this planet. One of them is that first person to stab you in the back or steal from you is usually the person who tells you repeatedly how honest he or she is. Truly honest people, at least in my personal experience, simply live up to their commitments and lead an honest life. They never feel a need to tell anyone how trustworthy they are. I came to this conclusion several years ago, after dealing with a certain former employer of mine who - I later discovered - was running a narcotics and prostitution ring on the side. I've been thinking about it a lot as of late while listening to a certain politician tell me for the eighth time in two years just how trustworthy he is, even though he hasn't kept most of his campaign promises.

I was flipping through the wedding announcements in my local newspaper the other day. I was aghast when I saw one of the young women whose nuptials were published. I will spare the details since this blog is a public forum. Instead, I'll simply say this: some brides are seriously tempting fate by wearing white.

Heidi Montag Stimulates Detroit The Detroit Free Press  is reporting that eight hospitals in southeastern Michigan are expected to hire 14,000 people between them over the coming months. This is expected to include everyone from doctors and nurses to chaplains, medical billing coders, and information technology specialists. Evidentially, Heidi Montag  is coming to Detroit for another round of plastic surgery.