Friday, January 17, 2014

Solving the problems of unemployment benefits

A large number of Americans will soon be without a job or unemployment benefits now that Congress has refused to extend authorization for long-term unemployment benefits.

Congressional Republicans claim that unemployment compensation hurts job growth. They say it makes people lazy and not want to work. At the same time, though, they also want to give billions and billions in tax dollar subsidies to oil companies, multi-national agribusinesses, and every other large corporation around.

I suppose the solution, therefore, is for all of the unemployed people to form their own corporation. At which point in time, the GOP will then be willing to dump 10 times the cash on them as they would've gotten in unemployment benefits.

They can call this new corporation the God Bless America Envelope Company. The first order of business for GBAEC will be to hire a handful of people to make envelopes or, more likely, contract that part out to someone in a Third World country. The company can then use those envelopes to send oodles of cash to all of the unemployed people that Congressional Republicans didn't want to extend unemployment benefits to.

Problem solved. You're welcome, America.

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