Wow! I can hardly believe it. It's been over a month since I've posted anything on here. I feel like a total slacker.
I guess it's just that every time I've felt writing something down, I wasn't anywhere near a computer. Last weekend, for instance, I was thinking about a lot of stuff as I drove home from Chicago (thinking so much that I darn near got into an accident, but that's another story).
But I didn't have my laptop with me, so no blog post came about as a result of all those pensive, introspective moments.
The big thing that I've been thinking about as of late is the idea of losing a parent.
My Dad has had these dizzy spells for awhile now. He'd keep falling all the time. My Mom told me that one time he even fell while trying to sit up in bed.
After a lot prodding, he finally went in to see a doctor. His neurologist wasn't sure what could cause it, so she did an obscene amount of testing. Blood work. An MRI. You name it.
The results came back. She found a tumor in my Dad's brain.
She wasn't sure if it was cancerous or not so -- time to do even more testing.
Another couple of weeks go by before all of those results come back.
The good news is that his brain tumor wasn't cancerous.
The bad news is that as the doctors were doing all their poking and prodding, they discovered that my Dad has asbestosis. (That's that nasty lung condition caused by exposure to asbestos).
My parents celebrated their 36th wedding anniversary last week. That evening, my Mom said she's convinced it will be their last one. Yes, she's always been the fatalists in the family.
Still the prospect of losing my Dad hurts.
The irony of it all is that I once told my high school guidance counselor that I wanted to be the exact opposite of my Dad. I wish I could take the back. I wish I could undo a lot of things.
My main reason for going to college is that it seemed to piss him off somehow (he wanted me to go into some training program and do CAD/CAM work).
There's a portion of me that feels like I should say something meaningful to him while he's still around. I just don't know what that might be.
I just feel numb. Totally numb at the moment.
I guess it's just that every time I've felt writing something down, I wasn't anywhere near a computer. Last weekend, for instance, I was thinking about a lot of stuff as I drove home from Chicago (thinking so much that I darn near got into an accident, but that's another story).
But I didn't have my laptop with me, so no blog post came about as a result of all those pensive, introspective moments.
The big thing that I've been thinking about as of late is the idea of losing a parent.
My Dad has had these dizzy spells for awhile now. He'd keep falling all the time. My Mom told me that one time he even fell while trying to sit up in bed.
After a lot prodding, he finally went in to see a doctor. His neurologist wasn't sure what could cause it, so she did an obscene amount of testing. Blood work. An MRI. You name it.
The results came back. She found a tumor in my Dad's brain.
She wasn't sure if it was cancerous or not so -- time to do even more testing.
Another couple of weeks go by before all of those results come back.
The good news is that his brain tumor wasn't cancerous.
The bad news is that as the doctors were doing all their poking and prodding, they discovered that my Dad has asbestosis. (That's that nasty lung condition caused by exposure to asbestos).
My parents celebrated their 36th wedding anniversary last week. That evening, my Mom said she's convinced it will be their last one. Yes, she's always been the fatalists in the family.
Still the prospect of losing my Dad hurts.
The irony of it all is that I once told my high school guidance counselor that I wanted to be the exact opposite of my Dad. I wish I could take the back. I wish I could undo a lot of things.
My main reason for going to college is that it seemed to piss him off somehow (he wanted me to go into some training program and do CAD/CAM work).
There's a portion of me that feels like I should say something meaningful to him while he's still around. I just don't know what that might be.
I just feel numb. Totally numb at the moment.
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