Weirdness on the Set

I was working on the set for a local band's music video the other day. It's been awhile since I've done one. I figured it was about time.

Anyway, the band had some fans show up to be groupies for this video. The interesting thing is that one of the young women who came clearly had more stuffed into her tube top than just herself.

At first, I didn't think much about it. She wasn't the first woman to try such a thing and I doubt she'll be the last.

The problem was that after an hour or so, whatever was in her top started to fall downwards. It wasn't long before her "boobs" were extending almost to her abdomen. (How it was that she didn't notice herself is beyond me, but that's another subject all together.)

I knew I couldn't put something like this in the video, but I really wasn't sure how a gentleman could possibly tell a woman something like this.

I called one of my friends, Lee Runchey, hoping to get some advice on how to convey this bit of news to her. I figured Lee is a woman. She's worked in public relations and on movie sets. Clearly, she would know what I should tell her. Unfoturately, I only got Lee's voicemail when I called.

I called another queen of public relations in Detroit, my former partner in Detroit Synergy Paula Turner. And I got her voicemail as well.

At this point, I just started dialing for advice.

I called Amanda and didn't get an answer.

I called Liza and got her voicemail.

I called Nicole and got her voicemail.

At this point, I'm thinking, "Great, the women in my life have officially let me down." It wasn't that it wasn't that I was upset or disappointed. This was just one of those moments when I really needed advice from a woman's perspective.

I thought about calling my Mom, but - quite frankly - that seemed even more awkward than just telling this woman that her breasts were sagging all the way down to her belly.

I tried moving the camera around so she wouldn't be in the shot, but it was of no use. Everytime I moved, she moved. Badly Stuffed Tube Top Girl was determined to be in this shot.

It was at this moment that I was hit with a bolt of inspiration. I thought of two magical words.

Two words that immediately solved all of my problems.

1. Smoke.
2. Machine.

I turned it on; the band looked great. No one could see how low the breasts were sagging on that one girl in the front row.

I am, if I may say so, a genius.

By the way, Lee eventually called me back a few minutes later - and laughed appropriately at my remedy.