Hayley Williams Asks the Wrong Question in Cosmo

I was at the grocery store the other day doing my weekly shopping. Since I'm a bachelor, this consisted heavily of lunch meat, microwave dinners, and beer. While standing in the check out line, though, I couldn't help but not notice Hayley Williams on the cover of Cosmopolitan.

Hayley Williams Asks the Wrong Question

My first thought upon seeing this was, "Oh, so that's what Hayley Williams looks like with her clothes on."

But then I noticed one of the articles in this month's issue of Cosmo, "Call Him or Text: The New Rules."

Silly, silly, Cosmo, I thought to myself. The correct answer to that conundrum is neither, just show up with a sandwich. If a woman does that, she is guaranteed to get better results than with either a phone call or a text message.

She doesn't even have to look like Hayley Williams (although it certainly doesn't hurt). She just has to show up with a sandwich to get her guy to to do pretty much whatever it is that she wants.

With Cosmo giving advice like this, it's no wonder why the women of America are so screwed up all the time. Luckily, my blog is here to set the record straight.

And I still give you a picture of Hayley Williams.

Who could ask for anything more?