Tuesday, September 16, 2008

I Invented Porn

The McCain campaign took credit for inventing the BlackBerry earlier today. I'm sure that the folks at Research in Motion were surprised to hear of his involvement in this process.

Quite frankly, though, I'm thrilled that McCain has done this. It's not that he's stupid, out of touch or anything like that.

No, no. It's nothing like that.

I'm excited because if John McCain can take credit for inventing the BlackBerry then that means I get to take credit for inventing pornography.

There. I said it.

I, Frank Nemecek, invented porn. I invented it all, right on down to the bow-chica-bow-wow sound effect.

For those readers who have come to appreciate the brilliance of my invention, I will simply say this: I am now accepting royalty payments. I might add that bottles of Jack Daniels are my preferred form of currency.

Let's face it - that's what the cash would end up as anyway. We may as well cut out the middle man.

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