Since I have this collection of interesting quotes on my wall, I was intrigued when I came across a copy of The Quotable Douchebag: A Treasury of Spectacularly Stupid Remarks. None of these quotes are worthy of occupying space on my wall. However, they are all kind of funny in the train wreck that you just can't help but watch sort of way.
This book is a ramshackle collection of the most haughty, self-important quotes of the modern era time. Before anyone even asks: yes, John Mayer is quoted at length.
Suffice it to say, these are quotes from some of the
"Osama bin Laden is the only one who knows exactly what I'm going through."
- R. Kelly
That one from R. Kelly, by the way, is a great way of explaining how it feels to be charged with statutory rape. And by great, I mean pathetic.
"I know who I am. No one else knows who I am. If I was a giraffe and somebody said I was a snake, I'd think, 'No, actually I'm a giraffe.
- Richard Gere.
Of course, the douchiest of all douchebag comments has to be this one.
"There are many dying children out there whose last wish is to meet me."
- David Hasselhoff.
I still can't believe that David Hasselhoff said that one.
Oh, wait - I can believe it. And that, my friends, is the sad, scary part of this modern American life.