Monday, March 29, 2010

Quotable Douchebag

My home office, right above my computer, is filled with quotes that inspire me. I have memorable quotes from Abraham Lincoln, Michael Jordan, Frank Sinatra, and many others. These quotes inspire me.

Since I have this collection of interesting quotes on my wall, I was intrigued when I came across a copy of The Quotable Douchebag: A Treasury of Spectacularly Stupid Remarks. None of these quotes are worthy of occupying space on my wall. However, they are all kind of funny in the train wreck that you just can't help but watch sort of way.

This book is a ramshackle collection of the most haughty, self-important quotes of the modern era time. Before anyone even asks: yes, John Mayer is quoted at length.

Suffice it to say, these are quotes from some of the brightest lamest minds of our time.

"Osama bin Laden is the only one who knows exactly what I'm going through."

- R. Kelly

That one from R. Kelly, by the way, is a great way of explaining how it feels to be charged with statutory rape. And by great, I mean pathetic.

"I know who I am. No one else knows who I am. If I was a giraffe and somebody said I was a snake, I'd think, 'No, actually I'm a giraffe.
'"
- Richard Gere.

Of course, the douchiest of all douchebag comments has to be this one.
"There are many dying children out there whose last wish is to meet me."

- David Hasselhoff.

I still can't believe that David Hasselhoff said that one.

Oh, wait - I can believe it. And that, my friends, is the sad, scary part of this modern American life.


3 comments:

Stacey said...

HI I came across your blog and really enjoyed it. You made me laugh - thanks for sharing. If you have time check out my blog at www.staceysmomentsinmotion.blogspot.com I will come back to visit soon. Keep the insights coming!

FrankNemecek said...

Hi Stacey,

I'm glad you found my blog. Your blog is awesome as well. I look forward to reading more of it.

Love & laughter,
Frank

敬忠 said...
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