Thursday, October 07, 2010

Slutocalypse 2010

April Put the Fire Out
Once upon a time, as in just a few of years ago, the options of a young woman were very, very limited when it came to Halloween costumes. She could be a slutty nurse, a slutty schoolgirl, or - if she wanted to push the envelope and risk the eternal damnation of her immortal soul - she could even be a slutty witch.

Thankfully, those dark days are behind us. A young woman can literally be anything that she wants to be for Halloween.

She can, for example, be a slutty firewoman - putting out blazes while setting a young man's heart afire.

She can be a slutty referee - and tell a young man exactly whether or not his pass was going to be complete.

For those who yearn for a return to the simple days of the 1980s, a young woman in 2010 can even be a slutty Ghostbuster and protect gentlemen everywhere from the paranormal.

Beth Rules Your Pass "Complete"
Yes, gone are the days of limited options for young women. She can select any profession or pass-time that she so desires and make herself look slutty in the process.

Halloween has finally become the Slutocalypse that feminists have dreamed about for generations. Prayers have been answered. Mountains have been climbed. Valleys have been crossed.

And it's all a mere 24 days away from today.

As I ponder these upcoming festivities, I have to admit that I am ever so thankful...

That I don't have a daughter.

If I did, she probably would not be allowed out of the house for even a minute during the entire month of October.

Cathy Protects You From Ghosts
Of course, since I don't have a daughter, I can simply sit back and enjoy the kind of show that I would normally have to pay a cover charge to see. There's a part of me that is grateful for this annual tradition of Slutocalypse (a/k/a - "Halloween").

And I will let you guess which part of me that is...

But I digress.

I suppose one could argue that this is simply part of a mating ritual. We are about to embark upon a long winter that is filled with a series of couple centric holidays (i.e., Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Eve, and St. Valentine's Day). If a young woman isn't coupled up, Halloween parties are essentially her last chance to attract a suitor in time.

Side note:  Can you tell that I aced my sociology classes in college?

Regardless, I am really glad that I don't have a daughter at the moment. If I did, she would not be allowed to leave the house at all during the month of October.

4 comments:

The Words Crafter said...

As long as their ambition is to become a slut, women have it made!!! Woohoo!!!!

What you guys don't know is that the slutty outfits are really witch's costumes in disguise. You're so distracted by other charms that you don't see the devilry being enacted upon you.

Said witchy sluts are taking your money, your homes, your credit cards....and having a great time doing it!

Hahahahahaha this is so funny! I could play with this for a while...

Ahem. Now to be serious *wink*. Doesn't that make you a hypocrite? The whole daughter thing? Hahahahaha, yep. This is a great post. I can go to sleep with a smile on my face-thanks!

FrankNemecek said...

Hypocrite? Probably.

But I still be very reluctant to let my daughter out of the house during the month of October.

And yes, you may feel sorry for my wife - whoever she is. She will have to moderate my desire to build a moat around our home.

Good night, Words.

The Words Crafter said...

I work with a daddy who is looking into chastity belts and plans to ship his daughter off to a convent! I'm only half convinced he's kidding....

FrankNemecek said...

I totally understand his position.

Totally.