The Voices in Frank's Head

I'm about to head off to my New Year's Eve celebrations. However, I wanted to take a moment to wish everyone who reads this blog (now almost a hundred or so people every day) a Happy New Years! I'll be back with more next year.

Every once in awhile, I hear a quote that so perfectly summarizes how I'm feeling at a given moment, I am compelled, it would seem, to emblazon it on the wall by my desk. Today, I came across such a quote. "A hero is no braver than an ordinary man," Ralph Waldo Emerson  once observed, "but he is brave five minutes longer." Today, I pray that each of us finds the strength to hang onto our bravery for those extra five minutes in whatever challenges we may face.

Rachel Nichols , who I first began obsessing over when she appeared in the G.I. Joe  movie, will join the cast of Criminal Minds  next season . She will continue to play FBI cadet Ashley Seaver, a character that was originally only supposed to last for three episodes. I look forward to seeing more of Rachel Nichols. Popular in Germany On a related note, the addition of Rachel Nichols to the permanent cast of Criminal Minds  is a story that I really didn't even notice at first. There was a huge spike in traffic to my site in recent days. My usual couple dozen visitors per day turned into a few hundred, with many of them coming from Germany. Thanks to Google Analytics, I was able to learn that much of this traffic came about as a result of a Google Image search for "Rachel Nichols" on Google.de (the German version of Google). My photo of Rachel Nichols from an earlier post ranked fairly high on that particular matrix, which brought a few hundred Germans to ...

One of my friends posted this photo below on his Facebook page. I like how it's so right and yet so very, very wrong all at the same time. Stephen Colbert Should Watch Out

Forward Down the Field - Another Lions Victory I went to church two weekends in a row and the Detroit Lions won two road games in a row. Both wins were on Sundays that I went to church. Coincidence? Well, yeah, it probably is. Regardless, I will be in church every single Sunday next season just so I don't jinx my team. I think I should increase my weekly offering, too.

Proof That Men Lie Okay - I know that I said I would take a break from posting about bikinis and such. However, I'm a guy and guys lie. I came across the World Cup of Bikinis on-line. I would like to thank God for the fact that such as thing as a World Cup of Bikinis is actually possible and for the fact that I found it. It is available here . Thank you, God. Thank you.

Katarzyna Szczolek , better known as Sara May , is a Polish singer and tabloid sensation who ran for the district council in Warsaw, Poland. She decided to plaster posters of herself in a bikini all over town in an attempt to garner attention and votes. She unquestionably got the attention as a couple hundred thousand media outlets and blogs picked up this story. People outside of Poland seemed to fall in love with images of Sara May in a bikini. Votes, however, are a different story. Warsaw has a population of 1.7 million people. In the recent election, Sara May received a grand total of 25 votes. 25 votes. In a city of 1.7 million people. Kuba Wojewódzki , a political columnist for Polish newspaper Policy , summed the matter up this way . The impressive common pity blogger and singer got 25 votes. Voltaire said that stupidity is incalculable. In this case, it can be calculated. Okay - enough of this. I promise to lay off the bikini, lingerie, and stripper posts for a little...

Continuing with my theme today of posting on things that I haven't had a chance to, I wanted to mention a couple of items that I've seen on-line late. I've noticed a couple of designers using reusing materials to make lingerie and bikinis - essentially giving recycling a sexy twist. Pink Tab Bikini by Ingrid Goldbloom Bloch Ingrid Goldbloom Bloch , for example, has produced what she calls the "Pink Tab Bikini". As its name implies, it is a pink bikini that is made entirely of pieces from cans of Tab. This piece looks very interesting and can imagine the right woman having a lot of fun with it. However, there's a part of me that wonders how comfortable a metal bikini could actually be. In this regard, I believe one should view her work as art as opposed to a piece of everyday fashion. Her design shows us that there is enormous potential in the things that we throw away. That is important, but it also limits the impact of this design. Moving away on to ...

Things are a little slow in my life at the moment. Christmas is over, but the insanity of New Year's has not yet begun. This gives me a chance to post on some of the oddball things that I've seen in recent months, but didn't have a chance to comment on here. There are a lot of interesting stories on the internet. However, it's had to be more interesting that one that includes the phrase "25 strippers" in its headline. For this beauty of a story, one has to travel back in time to February of 2006 and read a story about 25 Florida Strippers Nabbed down in Tampa. (No, I haven't been sitting on this story for almost 5 years. I came across it a few weeks ago in a Google search.) The Pasco County Sheriff's Office arrested more than two dozen strippers in an undercover investigation. The women were allegedly involved in a variety of criminal activities, including cocaine peddling, prostitution, lewdness, exposure of sexual organs, and the improper solicit...

I came across the cartoon below while surfing the vastness of these interwebs. I have to say that this represents what very well may be the best pick up line in all of human history. I want to try this. I know that it will result in me being slapped or a drink being thrown in my face. I know this, but I don't care. I want to try this one. I'll let you know how it goes.

Keira Knightley Needs Consolation I got the best Christmas present I could ask for early this morning. It turns out that Keira Knightley , whom I have obsessed about for years now, has broken up with her boyfriend of the past five years. Now, where did I put my passport? Keira Knightley clearly needs someone to console her right now and I have a plane to catch.

A friend of mine made a really cool music video for "I Know" by David Lynch . It's cool, but definitely not safe for work. If you're prepared for some R rated content, please take a moment to check out this video and vote for it. "I Know" by David Lynch | Genero.tv

The folks at NASA posted their on-line holiday this afternoon. I think this is one of the best video greetings that I have ever seen. But then again, I am a nerd.

Former Governor Sarah Palin and President Barack Obama will make a special appearance in the Archie comic books. They will appear jointly in issues 616 and 617 - and I already have a special order in for both of those issues. It'll be interesting to see how people react to these two on the cover of one of the oldest comics around. The first issue hits stands tomorrow, December 22. The second one will arrive in January.

There was a full lunar eclipse last night. I, unfortunately, missed it because the skies over Detroit were completely covered with clouds. Luckily, the folks at NASA have lots and lots photos of the eclipse available on-line. This fact completely makes me happy with paying my taxes. My thanks go out to everyone at NASA.

Neha Dhupia One doesn't normally associate Indian cinema with attractive women in skimpy bikinis. The fact of the matter is that, as the guys at BollyKings.com point out , the nation that gave us the Kama Sutra is still fairly conservative in matters  of sexuality and attire. However, that hasn't stopped anyone from compiling a list of "The 10 Hottest Bikini Babes of Bollywood". Bollywood, after all, is home to such beautiful actresses as Miss World 2000 Priyanka Chopra , Neha Dhupia , Barbara Mori , and others. Anyone of these ladies, I should point out, could easily hold their own in bikini regardless of what Hollywood starlet happens to be standing nearby. Priyanka Chopra These films don't often appeal to the English-speaking audience for a number of reasons. However, with actresses like this on the screen, I have to admit that they do hold my attention. I am gaining a whole new level of appreciation from Bollywood cinema, even if I do hav...

What do you think will be a bigger movie this summer? Will it be The Green Hornet with Seth Rogen , Jay Chou , Christopher Waltz , and Cameron Diaz ? Or will it be The Green Lantern  with Ryan Reynolds , Blake Lively , Peter Sarsgaard , and Mark Strong ? I'm not sure which movie will be bigger at the box office this summer. However, I have a funny feeling that these two film will leave a lot of other movies feeling green with envy.

My thanks go out today to the men and women in uniform who keep this nation safe and to the U.S. Senate for making sure that they don't have to betray their integrity in order to do so.

For the third year in a room, my roommate/brother Mark and I have our Christmas Tree up before Christmas. Yes, we rock!

I saw this sign at Whiskey in the Jar , which is a dive bar in Hamtramck. I have $5 that says no one pays any attention to it.

Whitney Port in MAXIM Earlier this year , I posted that while Whitney Port is a talented fashion designer, she might not have belonged on the annual list of the 99 Most Beautiful Women of the Internet with others like Jessica Alba , Kristen Bell , and Hayden Panettierre . Since then, she has proven me wrong. Whitney Port recently did a lingerie photo shoot, which will appear in the January 2011 issue of Maxim . Suffice it to say, I believe these photos put to rest any doubts as to whether or not she is one of the most beautiful women of the internet. Ms. Port, please accept my apology.

Big congratulations go out to everyone at Space X for the first successful commercial launch into space. Their Falcon 9 rocket blasted off on Wednesday, carrying its Dragon capsule into orbit before returning to Earth in perfect splash landing in the Pacific Ocean. I look forward to seeing many more of these launches and to more companies joining in on the action.

The internet has given us a multitude of insane, quirky ideas. Or rather, it allows insane, quirky ideas to spread around the globe. Case in point: a radio station in New Zealand gave away a Mini Cooper to one of three couples who agreed to live in a Mini for five days . There was a web cam on each car and folks got to vote on which couple would win the car. Of course, one of the contestants was a pair of blonde sisters, Lydia and Bryana O'Donnell  who spent the entire five days in nothing but a bikini. Bikini Blondes Did Not Win The horror of it all was that the bikini wearing blondes did not win. I guess this means that all of the guys were spending too much time drooling over these girls to vote for them. Oh, the travesty.

Spricket24 (a/k/a Karen Alloy) produced a YouTube video entitled "How to Flirt". This is one of those clips that's funny because it's deliberately bad. Love. It.

One of my more loyal readers asked why I don't create my own version of Facebook that doesn't suck. I've thought about it. I even mapped out the things that it should and should not have. However, this is my current in-box. My In-Box Please ignore the fact that you can see an empty shot glass in this photo above. (I didn't even notice it until after I had uploaded this photo.) Anyway, my point is that I have enough on my plate at the moment that I don't think I could develop a new social networking site and do it right. However,  I will make it to through all of those things. This means that Mark Zuckerberg  is officially ON NOTICE. Mark Zuckerberg Is On Notice I'm going to plow through these other projects. If Mark Zuckerberg doesn't get his act together and start making Facebook updates that are actually useful, I will bring his empire to the ground faster than a grizzly bear can maul Filliam H. Muffman .

Facebook rolled out its new profile pages yesterday. They are intended to display information more graphically than before. Since the folks at Facebook like things displayed graphically, instead of in boring text, this photograph represents my general reaction the new profile pages. Facebook Fails with New Profiles Yes, there really is nothing better than a yawn to describe the new profiles on Facebook. The new pages are just like the old ones, except that they use more graphics to display information instead of text. Never once I have heard anyone complain, "Facebook sure is nice, but I wish that there were more graphics on my profile page." I haven't heard that one even once. Meanwhile, as the folks at Facebook are busy changing those things that don't need changing, all of the things that really ought to be changed about the service have stayed the same. For example, all of my Facebook friends are still treated exactly the same and have the same access to...

The folks at Warner Brothers have decided to launch a new Buffy the Vampire Slayer  movie, except that this one will not have any involvement from creator Joss Whedon , starring actress Sarah Michelle Gellar , or any of the other people who made the television series the legend that it is. My first reaction when hearing about this can be summarized by simply saying, "WTF!". However, Joss Whedon had an even better reaction than that. You can read it here .

Ninjas Killed Prohibition This Sunday, December 5th, is a special occasion. It is International Ninja Day. It's also the 77th anniversary of the repeal of prohibition in the United States. In honor of these two occasions, I ask that whatever you do this Sunday, please do it in a manner that is both silent and deadly - and please do it all with a beer in hand.

Corinne Theile Corinne Theile , who became famous recently for going through LAX in a bikini, is now following me on Twitter. So, my question is: why don't you join her? Click here and follow me on Twitter, too.

Only 12 more hours, ladies and gentlemen. We only have to wait 12 more hours for the 2010 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show to air on CBS. I cringed a little bit when I heard that they were going back to the same place again this year instead of moving the show to a different venue, which is what they've been doing for several years. However, I've seen some of the previews of this one on YouTube. I think this will be their best one yet. And it all starts in 12 hours from now. I can hardly wait for this.

Hosting the Oscars It's official: the eternally yummy  Anne Hathaway will co-host the Academy Awards this year with  James Franco . The awards will air February 27 on ABC. I'm always happy to see anything with Anne Hathaway. Her at the Oscars is that much better.

$69 Million Looks Tangled , the Rapunzel remake from Disney, had a $69 million opening this past weekend. This is the second highest Thanksgiving opening in history . Of course, with this kind of cash, Disney can now use real gold for their heroine's long, flowing golden hair when they get around to doing the sequel. Congrats to everyone at Disney on the success of this project.

When Corinne Theile decided to protest TSA's security procedures, she decided to do it in the most unique way I can think of. She walked through the security line a black bikini. The whole thing was caught on video. As a result, Corinne Theile has become an internet sensation, of sorts. My question is: will this prompt more women to go through the airport in a bikini? If so, how long will it be before the airports start charging a cover for gentlemen to enter?

Leslie Nielsen , famous for his roles in Airplane and Naked Gun , passed away today at a hospital in Fort Lauderdale, Florida . He was 84 years of age. I think the best way to pay tribute to Leslie Nielsen and his talents is to sit back, watch some of his movies, and laugh until it hurts. I think he would enjoy that. Good bye, Leslie Nielsen. You will be missed by movie lovers everywhere.

Dozens of Pierogies There is something truly special about bringing a couple hundred pierogies home. I made a trek to Hamtramck over the weekend. I managed to pick up a couple hundred pierogies in several different flavors - apple, blueberry, cheese, cherry, meat, sour kraut, and potato. Who wants to stop by my place for dinner?

Does anyone know where one can find some Quidditch lingerie? The folks at Warner Bros. trademarked Quidditch lingerie for licensing purposes, which has prompted rumors across the internet that such a product is forthcoming from the House of Harry Potter.

iJustine  posted a video spoof of the T.S.A. and the full body scanners that they've started using. I. Love. This.

Another Launch from SpaceX SpaceX , a private company based in Hawthorne, California, became the first private company to receive a commercial license from the Federal Aviation Administration to re-enter a spacecraft from orbit. They received their license yesterday. I congratulate everyone at SpaceX for being a part of this historic moment. I look forward to one day seeing many other companies receiving such a permit.

I love of things find their way into my in-box. Some of them are good. Others are bad. And then there are those that I don't quite know what to say about them. The Cristal Bubble is definitely in the last category. I'm simply not sure what to say about it, except that it is an interesting concept. For those who haven't seen this thing, it's a crystal clear inflatable bubble (13 feet in diameter) that one can rent in the south of France. It comes decked out with a king-size bed, a spaceship-style entrance tube, and a fan to keep the inside well-ventilated. There’s even an adjoining bubble if you decide you need servant’s quarters. Cristal Bubble - Now Taking Reservations I think I would like to rent this thing, if only for one evening. It can be set up anywhere in the region and this some amazing scenery in that part of the world. But, yes, it's quite an interesting idea.

I've been waiting for the Air Force's "MEDEVAC" commercial to show up on-line the way that some folks have been waiting for the latest Harry Potter movie to come out. Some folks might call this weird or even sad. I just view it as one piece of evidence to show that I am an airplane nerd. It's a great mix of science fiction and the reality of what the U.S. Air Force does every day.

The folks at Westboro Baptist Church showed up at a mosque near my house this morning to protest Islam as a religion, before going on to another event on the campus of Wayne State University where they were scheduled to protest Judaism. For those not familiar with Westboro Baptist Church, this is the group that is famous for protesting at the funerals of fallen soldiers. To say that these folks live for controversy is an understatement. They adore  controversy even more than I adore scantily dressed beautiful women who bring me sandwiches. Anyway, the Westboro Baptist folks were in my neighborhood this morning. I shot a short video of them with my BlackBerry. I posted it on YouTube and on my neighborhood blog . In the past 12 hours, that video has been watched 134 times between the two sources. To put that in perspective, no other video that I've ever done has ever gotten more than 50 views in any 24 hour period. This one has gotten almost three times that much traffic in half...

Command Chief Master Sargent Brooke McLean  of the U.S. Air Force put out a video on YouTube this afternoon on the subject of suicide. He spoke primarily to the airmen who serve with him. However, I feel that much of it applies to anyone who finds themselves in difficult times.

I killed two police officers today along with a car salesman, a Hollywood producer, and a kindergarten teacher. The accountant that I stabbed, however, will likely survive. Oh, and I also had a second Hollywood producer falsely imprisoned. And I torched a 200 year old historic landmark in northern Michigan. That's not a bad day, if you think about it. Translation for all of the above: I finished my latest re-write of Haunted House Memoirs  and submitted it.

I finally found Jeeves & Wooster  on-line. (Yeah, it wasn't that hard once I searched for it.) Anyway, wanted to share this with the dozens of people who read my blog. If you like my sense of humor, you will probably love Jeeves & Wooster . If nothing else, it's kind of surreal to see a young  Hugh Laurie  play a character that is so incredibly different from Gregory House, M.D.

SSgt. Salvatore A. Giunta My congratulations go out to Staff Sargent Salvatore A. Giunta  of the U.S. Army. Sgt. Giunta received the Medal of Honor from President Barack Obama  yesterday for his performance in Afghanistan. He is the first living person to receive the Medal since the Vietnam War. The Army has a page on its web site to Sargent Giuta's story here . It's inspirational to read. My congratulations to Sargent Giunta and his family.

The folks at Victoria's Secret to wish a happy birthday to one of their angels, Lily, this afternoon on their Facebook page. Within 10 minutes of that being posted, there were more than 2,000 comments on that post. Spam Isn't For Birthdays Of those comments, a couple hundred were spammers of one variety or another. Each of them was hoping that people would visit this one completely unrelated link or another to see video of a man killing his wife, a report on why one should never drink soda again, or something else. All of them largely a ruse to drive lots of traffic to a spam centric web site. Welcome to the 21st century, ladies and gentlemen. The spam robots have even taken over the birthdays of beautiful, scantily dressed women. Is there nothing sacred in this world anymore? Anyway, in the event she ever finds this blog: Happy birthday, Lily. I hope you got presents better than spam today.

I haven't watched SpongeBob SquarePants  in years. Regardless, I will make a point of tuning in this Wednesday Monday, November 15 at 4:30 p.m. on Nickelodeon. Victoria Beckham Goes Under the Sea This, of course, is when Victoria Beckham  (formerly "Posh Spice" from the Spice Girls) makes a special guest appearance on the show . She will voice the cartoon version of Queen Amphitrite during this 30-minute special. And the cartoon version of Victoria Beckham is hot! She's hot, but doesn't cross the line. One wouldn't be worried about their children watching this. Of course, I would expect nothing less from Victoria Beckham. Update: Wednesday, November 17 Oops!  I made a boo-boo. November 15 was last Monday; not today as I originally indicated above.

It looks like my next chance to see Gaelic Storm live in concert will be Saturday, March 5 at the House of Blues in Cleveland. I've never been to Cleveland. I figure this will be my chance to see one of the best live bands around and visit the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Gaelic Storm - Tour Dates

I love bacon. And I love booze. I'm not sure why it never occurred to me to combine these two wonderful thing. However, it did not. That is until I came across a recipe for bourbon that is infused with bacon. I hate to admit that, but I'm starting think that God doesn't really want me to get any work done. If you're interested, the recipe for bacon infused bourbon is available here .

I love the British. Really, I love those bloody folks. Cancer Prevention Granted, I am part Irish from my mother's side of the family. Relations between the British and Irish haven't always been ideal. Still, one has to forgive at least part of that now that the BBC has reported that women who get the majority of their exercise by doing housework are less likely to develop breast cancer than other women. I imagine it won't be long now until some guy looks at his wife and says, "Honey, I'd love to help you with the laundry but I don't want you to get cancer." This, of course, will likely spur another report from the BBC on how a rolling pin really can be a deadly weapon.

One of my favorite live bands in the world is Gaelic Storm. Half of their show is the funnier than most comedy clubs. The other half is some of the best Irish music imaginable. Unfortunately, they haven't been in the Detroit area in awhile. This means that I have to make a road trip whenever I want to see them. This video gives a fairly good idea of why I think it's worthwhile to drive a couple hundred miles to see these guys.

As Shondira pointed out ever so subtly in the comments section below, I have been dwelling on the female form a bit too much for my own good these past few days. With that in mind, I want to talk about one of the other things that manages to take my breath away. Take a look at this photo from NASA. NGC 4452 That fuzzy line in deep space is NGC 4452. It's not the coolest name, but it is a cool object. That fuzzy line in deep space is an entire galaxy. Billions and billions of stars. God only knows how many planets. The possibility for hundreds of alien civilizations. And it's all lined up in one simple fuzzy line in deep space.

Emma Watson in a Bikini I'm really glad that Emma Watson  is now of age. She is, after all, now 20 years old. This means that I don't feel like a total pervert when photos of Emma Watson in a skimpy bikini show up on-line.

This Bikini is Perfect The folks at Perfect Tan Bikini have developed their answer to tan lines. The bikini uses a special adhesive to keep its top secured without any strings. Although, it looks rather interesting to see a bikini top just float there. The manufacturer swears  that this adhesive will keep the top secure, even while swimming, and do so without making it painful to remove. I like the idea. I'm just waiting for women near me to give it a test wear.

Larissa Riquelme Looks Good in White I mentioned before that a couple of my friends are eager to see me get married. As is my Mom... And most of my aunts... Anyway, Larissa Riquelme  announced last month that she is looking for a husband, after achieving global fame for her unique way of holding a cell phone during the World Cup. I wonder if any of my friends have enough pull to arrange an introduction.

My church is only half a mile from Ford Field, home of the mighty Detroit Lions. Christians vs. Lions Shortly before services began this morning, as the streets of downtown Detroit were rapidly filling with fans on their way to the game, one of my fellow parishioners made the off-hand comment that it would not normally be a good idea for Christians to be so close to a group of Lions. However, these are the Detroit Lions. It actually took me a second to get that joke . Oh, well - as if on cue, the Lions went on to lose to the New York Jets 23 - 20 this afternoon.

It looks like Detroit might finally have a winning football team . Not the Detroit Lions, mind you. Not even I am delusional enough to predict that. However, it does look like Detroit might soon be a part of the Lingerie Football League. This is a team where their fans win, no matter what the score board says.

Keira Knightley Keira Knightley  recently told an interviewer that she hates clothes - or at least she hates shopping for clothes. I suppose there is a simple remedy for this.  Keira Knightley could simply walk around naked all the time. I'll be sure to mention this suggestion to her when next our paths cross. And then I'll be sure to duck.

James Hunt James Hunt  was the Formula One champion in back 1976 - a time long before I was paying any attention to either women or cars. According to a new biography by Tom Rubython , during a two week binge while in Tokyo that year, James Hunt and his friend Barry Sheene  each had sex with thirty three different flight attendants. And yes, that's thirty three women each. Over the course of fourteen days. An average of a little more than two stewardesses per day. James Hunt and Barry Sheene set the bar high (or low) for an outstanding summer vacation.

Sparky Anderson Hall of Fame baseball manager Sparky Anderson  passed away this morning at the age of 76. After a successful career with the Cincinnati Reds, he led the Detroit Tigers to a world series championship in 1984. Sparky Anderson will be missed by all Detroiters and baseball fans everywhere. Rest in peace, George "Sparky" Anderson.

My agenda for Tuesday, November 2 is a simple one. Vote. Write. Write some more. Crash the Republican victory parties. I may disagree with their policies. However, in my opinion, the Republicans usually have better booze than the Democrats. Plus, they don't check credentials very closely.

When I first hear that there are a couple of female artists out there who use their breasts as paint brushes, my initial reaction was simple. Mmm...  Boobs. It seemed like a novelty item, more than anything. The important thing about art, in my opinion, isn't how it was created but the reaction that its audience has when they experience it. Do they stop and stare at it? Does it cause them to think or feel something unique? Every work of art has some kind of a story behind; something that lead the artist to create it. Usually, that something goes beyond the fact that the artist has paint and  breasts. However, as I look at this painting by Kira Ayn Varszegi , there's no getting around the fact that her use of of color is captivating. One almost can't help but be drawn to it. Painted with Boobs When I first saw this painting, I didn't even think about the fact that it was done with a woman's breasts - at least not at first. At first, I found myself drawn to it...

Happy Halloween I just want to say that one of the lamest things anyone can do on Halloween is come to a Halloween party dressed in a "costume" of whatever it is that you do Monday through Friday. Lame. Lame. Lame.