The Voices in Frank's Head

The year is almost over. 2008 in Detroit was the kind of year that someone was thinking of when they came up with the curse, "May you live in interesting times." Some folks in this town are dwelling on the negative or even planning a move to Dubai. As for me, I take a more balanced outlook towards things. With that in mind, I present a look back at 2008 in my hometown. The Detroit Lions are the worst team in NFL history. However, the Detroit Red Wings won yet another Stanly Cup this year. The Detroit Tigers turned in a respectable performance. The Detroit Pistons came this close to another NBA Championship. Kwame Kilpatrick is in jail, but that saga is over. Now Detroiters get to look at everyone in Illinois and know that they're dealing with things that are much worse. The Detroit Public Schools are broke. However, Detroit still has charter schools, parochial schools, private schools and home schooling. Kirsten Haglund from Farmington Hills became Miss America...

YouTube has some of the coolest Christmas videos on it. This one is my personal favorite. If you have to ask why, well, you probably wouldn't understand the answer.

I have come to love Google Alerts . Every time someone posts something on-line about certain subjects, I get an email alert with a link to the post. It doesn't matter where it was posted, Google finds it for me and lets me know about it. I use it to track everything from some of my favorite celebrities, such as Keira Knightley , to some of the groups that I'm a part of, such as Detroit Synergy . It was my Detroit Synergy alert that made me cringe the other day. Along with all of the expected references to their Shop Detroit project was a reference to the group on Metromix. I cringed. Oh, yes, I did. I remembered all of the problems that Metromix had caused for me in the past. I also remembered Michael Higdon's commentary from this past August about how Metromix is a detriment to society. I braced myself for the worst as I clicked the link to see how the kids at Metromix were making my life difficult now. It actually turned to not be that bad at all. Google simply ...

I was sitting in a friend's living room the other evening with a small group of other friends. One game or another had just ended on television. We were trying to decide where we were going next because the night was too young for us to say good night. In what has to be one of the most perfectly timed ad buys, a commercial for Detroit's version of Metromix came on the screen. I silently groaned to myself and resolved to be quiet for the next 30 seconds. It was late. I really didn't feel like having yet another discussion about psychographics and/or why it was that I despised Metromix with a passion. The shocking thing is that I didn't have to hold those thoughts in. Within 5 seconds of this commercial coming on, one of my friends mentioned to no one in particular that Metromix was the web site that Kerry Doman loosely based After 5 Detroit on. I continued to remain silent as this observation led to a 20 minute discussion about Ms. Doman, her web site and her l...

The Detroit Lions lost to the New Orleans Saints 42 - 7 today. This was trouncing so bad that it shocked even me and I had given up on the Lions months ago. It shouldn't have come as a surprise to me then that one of my cousins in Wisconsin sent me a series of Detroit Lions jokes via email this afternoon. Since I can't share the joy of a decent season for the Lions, the least I can do is share a few Lions jokes with the world. Michigan Law The Michigan State Police are cracking down on speeders heading into Detroit For the first offense, they give you two Detroit Lions tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them. Q. What do you call 47 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl? A. The Detroit Lions. Q. What do the Detroit Lions and Billy Graham have in common? A. They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ!" Q. How do you keep the Detroit Lions out of your yard? A. Put up a goal post. Q. Where do you go i...

Christmas is only a few days away. Detroit is covered with snow at the moment and there's more on the way. In the Christmas spirit, I search the internet for the best gift possible for readers on my blog. Without further ado, I give you "Russian Girls" by Sasha Dith . This video actually came out a couple of years ago, but it never really became the kind of hit that it probably should have been. You're welcome.

I was surfing the web last night, looking for more news on Kristen Bell . I came across this post on TMZ.com about Kristen at the beach . They were critical of the photo of her to the left, but admired her in the one to the right. I don't care what the folks at TMZ say. Granny shades or not. Hair up or down. Kristen Bell looks darn hot.

The good folks at Google Analytics tell me that the single most visited page on my blog is my Kam Carman experiment from this past March . 9 months later and it's still the most visited entry, bringing in close to 500 page hits every month. In second place for the most traffic generating post is my commentary from a few weeks ago about Kristen Bell's interview in the December issue of Ambassador magazine . The bronze medal, by the way, goes to my post about cool night lights from August of last year . A part of me can't help but wonder: what would happen if I were to combine all of these things into one blog post? Would this blog actually explode from all of the traffic? What if I were to write about a fictional evening in which Kam Carman tells Kristen Bell all of the nitty, gritty details of her divorce - from who cheated on who to the threats of lawsuits that Kam Carman used to keep the story quiet? I doubt Kam Carman would ever divulge those details willingly. H...

I've always loved having a subscription to GQ . This month, however, I have even more of a reason to love it. Check out Jennifer Aniston on their cover! I remember the first time I saw a woman wearing only a necktie. It was that scene in Pretty Woman where Richard Gere's character comes home to find Julia Roberts waiting for him, wearing only the necktie that she convinced one a sales clerk in some store to give her. That scene was only on the screen for a few seconds. I saw it in my local theater when I was 19 but I still think of it every time I see a display of ties in any store. A truly classic moment in American cinema. I'm glad the folks at GQ were able to do something like this again.

Detroit Synergy and the AIA-Detroit will soon announce that the next installment of their Pecha Kucha project will happen on Thursday, February 19 in the Hard Rock Cafe . Since Hard Rock is different than most PK Night venues, and I'm one of the people who selected it, I wanted to take a moment and tell everyone why we're going there. Yes, Hard Rock is a corporate restaurant. Hard Rock has a menu that is set by folks more than a thousand miles away from the restaurant. There's no getting around these facts. However, Hard Rock does offer a few benefits that make it an appealing option. First, there are all of the logistical issues associated with having PK Night at any venue. Hard Rock Cafe excels in these categories. Hard Rock has secured parking in the Compuware parking structure that's available for free with a validation in the restaurant. A lot of other venues require you to either pay through the nose for parking or have you park on the street. For those ...

This has to stop. Today. Forever. Originally uploaded by xdvxas I got a link to this photo on Flickr today. I'm not sure if it is the funniest thing I've ever seen - or the most disturbing. Maybe it's both. Of course, if that cat's facial expression is any indicator, I have a funny feeling that its owner got her own comeuppance from the cat shortly after the photo was snapped. It's like there's a thought balloon over near that cat. One that read, "Laugh now, human. Just wait until you see what I do to your shoes. Just. You. Wait."

Britney Spears is in this month's issue of Glamour , with the headline "Healthier at Last". I know I'm incredibly cynical, but a part of me can't help but wonder who many publicists and lawyers it took to get the Glam folks to write that piece that way. My guess is 14, but it's only a guess. Yes, I am cynical. However, if I may paraphrase Kurt Cobain for a moment, "Just because you're cynical doesn't mean you're not right."

There is yet another product on the market that is inspired by President-Elect Barack Obama - an Obama Soda. Reportedly, this soda is already a huge hit with French teenagers . I swear, if Detroit could just get a cut of the umpteen Obama-inspired products out there, the automakers wouldn't need those bridge loans.

Keira Knightley has a new role as spokesperson for Amnesty International. She appears in a new ad for the human rights group with a banner that reads, " Protect the Human " to commemorate the 60th anniversary of the U.N. Declaration on Universal Human Rights . I've always been a fan of Keira Knightley. She's beautiful and an amazing actress. I've also been a fan of Amnesty International. I was active in an Amnesty International chapter while I was in college. The fact that Keira Knightley and Amnesty International are combining forces very well may be the coolest combination since pizza and beer. Well, okay. I suppose that is a bit of an overstatement. Regardless, the fact that Keira Knightley is representing Amnesty International is still a very cool thing in my opinion.

Bettie Page passed away yesterday at the age of 85 after suffering a heat attack . She was an actress and model who completely comfortable in anything - from a ball gown to bondage gear - and made them all look incredibly sexy and sophisticated. She was an icon from the 1950s, who appeared in pin-up pages and Playboy . She was a Christian who believed that God gave a beautiful body for a reason. She believed, therefore, that there was no shame in showing it off. More than anything, Betty Page understood that "sexy" didn't have to mean "slutty" or "trashy". She made it into an art form. Britney Spears and several other modern pop stars could learn a few things from Ms. Page. As such, she will be missed.

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman from Mississippi arrived and bet $20,000 on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless." With that, she stripped to the waist; rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, Southern Girl needs new clothes!" As the dice bounced and came to a stop, she jumped up-and- down and squealed, "YES! YES! I WON! I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings, her clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know. I thought you were watching." The moral of this story is: Not all Southerners are stupid; Not all blondes are dumb; But all men, are men.

I've always been a fan of Ziggy . That little guy, and his cartoonist creator , put a lot of wisdom into a single panel. One of his cartoons from the other day, however, though went above and beyond its usual standard of brilliance. Explaining the world, while still allowing me to laugh at it. Brilliant, I say. Simply brilliant.

Ever since they started televising it, the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show has been something that I look forward to. It's fun to watch and - well, let's face it - it has the Victoria's Secret models strutting around in those outfits. This year, however, I have to say that the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show was kind of a disappointment. The show still had the Victoria's Secret models. No matter how bad everything else is, there will always be that as a redeeming quality. My problem with this year's show was that they seemed to put too much of an emphasis on the behind-the-scenes moments of the fashion show. I know there are always people who want to know what it's like backstage at one of these events, but there's a danger of going too far with it. It's Frank's Law of Fashion Shows #168. When you get to point where the wardrobe guys get almost as much screen time as Heidi Klum then you are definitely doing too much behind-the-scenes s...

I was reading one of those other blogs in this town this morning. Reportedly, party promoters Matt A and Michael Zografos are spending $40,000 to build a tent in the Whitney's parking lot. This is, of course, not your average tent since it will have chandeliers, hardwood floors and such. Some folks are impressed by this. But those are the people who were impressed by the idea of spending an hour standing in line to get a "free" drink and who didn't think that an event with roughly 600 people attending needed to have bathrooms available at it. Since I've done a fair number of special events in Detroit, I know that on a budget of $10 - $20,000 one can rent: Any of the ballrooms in the Westin Book Cadillac; Colony Club; Detroit Club; Gem Theatre; Most of the rooms in the Masonic Temple; or Any of a dozen or so other options. All of these are facilities where chandeliers and flooring come standard. Plus, they also have ample access to restrooms, better acoustic...

I was flipping through this month's issue of Ambassador . I saw their headline Kristen Bell: Hometown Girl to Hero and, well, let's face it - any time a magazine puts the words "Kristen" and "Bell" on their cover, it's pretty much guaranteed to grab my attention. For the benefit of anyone who didn't already know this, Kristen Bell grew up in one of Detroit's suburbs, Huntington Woods to be specific. She graduated from Shrine Catholic High School before heading off to New York for college and her career. The folks at Ambassador asked her a series of questions about growing up in the Detroit area. I couldn't help notice something peculiar in her answers though. She didn't say that she was from Detroit. Instead, she said that she was from the Midwest. Let me recap this for everyone. Kristen Bell is from Huntington Woods, but when asked about growing up she did not say she's from Huntington Woods. Kristen Bell did not say tha...

The space shuttle Endeavor made a text book perfect landing this afternoon. They completed their 16-day mission to continue improvements at the International Space Station . It's hard to explain, but watching this video just makes me smile. Welcome home, Endeavor. Congratulations on a job well done.

There are moments in my life when I see one example after another of irony. There are moments of my life when I see irony upon irony, gift wrapped with an ironic bow on top. And then there are moments like this where I struggle through so many levels of irony that it pretty much makes my head explode. The thing is, I'm probably the only person around who fully appreciates this one. I'm not expecting anyone else to. More than anything else, I just wanted to post this note on my blog - where it will have a day and time stamp - so this way I can come back to it at a later date and say, "See. This is what I meant." Anyway, it's Thanksgiving Eve. I'm late for the bar already. Good night, everyone!

This past weekend was the kind of weekend that I really needed after a hellish work week. The coolness began on Thursday actually, when I skipped out on Detroit Synergy's Third Thursday event at Pewabic Pottery so I could head to the Gem Theatre for the 2008 Preservation Awards. I was lucky enough to accept an award on behalf of the Friends of the Book-Cadillac Hotel. The FoBC was honored for their work in historic preservation advocacy through education. The whole thing was just a tad bit ironic because a) I skipped out of an event at Pewabic Pottery to go to the awards banquet and b) the award that I accepted included a custom piece of Pewabic Pottery. Yes, there was irony in the air that evening. As an added bonus, the food at this banquet was simply top notch - and there was an open bar. I lost track of how many gin and tonics I had that evening. All I know is that when it came time to give an acceptance speech, the sober people told me that I managed to do a decent job ...

I've been wanting to try Michael Symon's new restaurant Roast ever since I met him and saw his menu. I had drinks there during the Access Detroit event, but they weren't officially open so no food at that time. However, I took a date there last week and I have to say it was unbelievable. One of my friends from school, who relocated to Cleveland, has raved for years now about how good of a chef Michael Symon really is. I used to think she was exaggerating, but now I know that - if anything - she was underselling it. Anyway, the atmosphere is unbelievable, the service is impeccable and the food is even better. Michael Symon is known for his meat dishes. However, if you go there, I will simply say this: no matter what you order, get a side of their macaroni and cheese. Heck, you could just order a couple of sides of his macaroni and cheese and make a meal out of them. He makes it using goat cheese and it is really, really good. I think this might actually be the start ...

I was flipping through GQ this month. They have this special feature on "The 25 Sexiest Women in Film of All Time". Needless to say, it piqued my interest. I was glad that they included some of the great classic beauties that most people have forgotten about. This includes actresses like Anna Karina and Ursula Andress . I was also glad that they had a healthy dose of women who are currently working - and still hot. The include notables such as Jessica Alba , Scarlett Johansson, Halle Barrie and Penelope Cruz . All of them clearly deserve to be on that list. (Especially Jessica Alba, who I have mentioned a dozen or so times on this blog.) However, I was surprised by one glaring omission for the list: Keira Knightley . I mean, come on, GQ! How can you have a list of "The 25 Sexiest Women in Film of All Time" and not include Keira Knightley? Those eyes. Those lips. Blah! If I ran GQ , Keira Knightley would be on every list of incredibly hot women. But the...

The New York Times published a glowing article yesterday about the recently reborn Westin Book Cadillac Hotel . The article referred to 700 people gathering to celebrate the hotel's transformation; an event that the Times referred to as a civic catharsis. I wonder if it was the Access Detroit event or the opening gala they referred to. I'm not sure if the phrase "civic catharsis" adequately describes either event, though. A catharsis involves purging emotions, usually through some type of art. Unfortunately, as I talk to people in and around town, I still encounter all of the same negative emotions about Detroit after the hotel's opening as I did before it. What the hotel's rebirth does do is provide a working model of how large, derelict structures can be revitalized. It provides a template to follow; one that shows up how to revitalize our community and to create sustainable jobs in the process. The challenge, of course, is for Detroit to repeat this s...

A little over a week ago, I predicted the results of yesterday's presidential race on a state-by-state basis. As it turns out, I was right in 49 of my 51 predictions. I called Florida for Senator John McCain , but he lost by approximately 2% of the vote. Quite frankly, I knew I got that one wrong as soon as Florida Governor Charlie Crist announced that he wouldn't attend the McCain victory party in Florida. I also called South Carolina for now-President Elect Barack Obama . He lost that state, however, by a rather decisive 9%. In the end, I proved to be 96% accurate. That's not too bad, if I may say so myself.

I used to live in New York several years ago. For the most part, I'm happy with life back home in Detroit - but there are moments when I miss New York. For example, I really can't imagine anything like this happening on the streets of Detroit. I guess I'll just have to get a bunch of creative folks together and make something like this happen in the D.

I've been inundated by robocalls from one politician after another for the past several weeks. It's one more reason why I will be glad when Tuesday is behind us. Of course, the silver lining in this dark cloud comes from Obama Girl. I love that video.

I posted a few days ago about Access Detroit and how the folks at Detroit's version of Metromix managed to screw up what was quiet possibly the most idiot proof event of the year. Specifically, I chastised them for making the "big surprise" at the end of the evening be the D Brand logo that was projected onto the side of a building. I have since received confirmation that this wasn't Metromix's idea. They had nothing to do with it. It was someone else. It was a group of people who are usually one of the best event producers in the country; who simply must have left their brains at home that day. I'm afraid I've simply reached that point in my life and career where, if I see something go wrong and someone from Metromix is within 100 feet of it, I assume that they're responsible for it. Usually, this trend serves me well. The kids at Metromix have a unique ability to screw up just about anything and they seem to go out of their way to do it. But t...

I posted on Saturday about Metromix would inevitably resort to posting photos of random bar patrons because there weren't any people from their Access Detroit event at any of the bars other than Bookies. As of that time, the kids at Metromix hadn't posted those photos. But now they have. Please note the conspicuous absence of red lanyards, which got you the Access Detroit special, on any patrons at any of the bars other than the one (Bookies) that you could see from the block party. So much for getting people to explore downtown Detroit. Oh, and I also got a kick out of how they "forgot" to make any references in their post-event coverage to their "special surprise" of the evening. I also posted on Saturday about how I saw people scratching off, or otherwise obscuring, the Metromix swag that they got - essentially fixing their Metro mi x . With that in mind, please take a look at my "new" hip flask. I picked this up at a previous Metromix eve...

Election Day is just a little more than a week away. This is when we as a nation will determine the answer to questions like, "how much longer will the entire world hate us?" and "will things ever get any better for us?". I'm reasonably optimistic, which is why I predict that U.S. Senator Barack Obama will win with 326 electoral votes. My state by state breakdown gives all the details. We'll see soon just how accurate I am.

I have to admit that I cringed when I first heard that the kids at Detroit's version of Metromix were involved in the block party that would kick off the re-opening of the Westin Book Cadillac Hotel. I've had experience with them a few times before. Everything they've ever done can fit into one of three categories: Lame; Mismanaged; or Both. I took comfort, however, in the fact that this was the re-opening of the Westin Book Cadillac Hotel . This was the most idiot-proof event of the year. There were so many people looking forward to this that almost anything they did would be a guaranteed success. In retrospect, as I think back to my previous description of this being an "idiot-proof" event, I am reminded of the words of Mark Twain who observed, "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." Yes, I'm afraid it's true. The kids from Metromix did manage to screw this one up. Without further ado, I give you my ...

Today is the 10th Anniversary of the demolition of the former J.L. Hudson's Department Store in downtown Detroit. It was built in 12 separate stages, from 1891 through 1946. After all of that history, the building came down after 28 seconds of blasting. When the site was demolished, it was promised that this would open the doors to unprecedented development in downtown Detroit. The years later, all that stand on the site are the support columns for an office tower that was never built. In many ways, they serve as tombstones for a portion of Detroit's past. The Hudson's site has been targeted as one of the possible sites for Rock Financial's new headquarters. However, if you believe any of the speculation on the various blogs such as D-Tales or the Detroitist , that might never happen. The bizarre coincidence comes into play when one remembers that shortly after the Hudson's demolition, then Mayor of Detroit Dennis Archer announced that he was targe...

This past week has been insane for me. There have been so many things that I really meant to blog about, but I simply haven't had a chance to sit down and recount them all. I mean, I did manage to find a chance to blog about the $5 million bra , but come on. I'm a guy. How could I not blog about that? Anyway, before my schedule blows up on my again , here is a recap of the past week. Thursday, October 16 The interesting portion of my day started at 10:30 a.m. That was when I arrived at the Westin Book Cadillac Hotel for an interview with Detroit Today on WDET. It was another chance for me to talk about how much I love that hotel and how I think it will be the catalyst for great things in downtown Detroit. This, of course, was the third time that I had been on Detroit Today in the past year. Strangely enough, this was also the year that they won "Best Local Radio Talk Show" in the Metro Times Readers' Poll. Is this purely a coincidence? Well, of course it ...

The geniuses at Victoria's Secret have come up with the perfect way to spend a fortune - and then some. It's a $5 million bra. The Black Diamond Fantasy Miracle bra contains: 3,575 black diamonds, 117 certified 1 carat round diamonds, 34 rubies and - for the ultimate piece de resistance - 2 black diamond drops that total 100 carats. Of course, being the guy that I am, I can't help but wonder about one thing. If a guy were to buy this for the woman in his life, would she still complain about the toilet seat being left up?

I wanted to let everyone know that I will be on WDET-FM tomorrow morning at approximately 10 a.m. - live from the Westin Book Cadillac Hotel. Yes, I love my life.